Alright here is something very hard for me to admit.. I really want kids. Now I know some of you are probably scratching your head like "Well duh. Most people do." But it has been a struggle with me. I grew up raising my cousins and niece/nephew. I was convinced I didn't want kids because I had practically raised those closest with me.. I could never imagine myself physically growing a child let alone pushing one out of myself! Another piece to that is I have always been thin.. I just recently broke 145 LBS so I never thought I would be healthy enough to not risk either the child or my own health.
When I met Preston, I knew right away that he was the man I was meant to be with. There was never an awkward phase and I new we would have a family together eventually. This awoke some memories of growing up and always carrying a baby doll around or playing house when no one else wanted to. I thought it was just a phase I would grow out of eventually... I read a post a few days ago about a girl who had the "living doll" in her high school class and I remembered taking that doll home... I absolutely loved it. Yes it cried through the night but I adored it. It made me so happy. I think I have always subconsciously known that I wanted to be a mother but the older I get, the more I realize that is really all I want in life. I want some kiddos to run around. I know there are downsides and I know there are times you just want a break but I know I have family and friends who love me dearly and it wouldn't ruin anything.
I try to keep this all in because I get sick of being told that "oh you don't REALLY want one right now. That'll RUIN everything. You should wait until after you've been married for a few years." But I know that isn't true.. I fully believe that people know when they're ready for things. I may not be financially stable yet, so no I won't be jumping on this immediately (Please don't freak out guys) but I am ready. Whenever my littles decide to pop up, I will welcome them with loving arms and be so happy they decided to join me.
