Families Who Pressure You About Getting Married
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My Family Is Pressuring Me To Get Married, But I’d Rather Be Independent And Wait

Let's focus on other things, like a career.

My Family Is Pressuring Me To Get Married, But I’d Rather Be Independent And Wait
Chau Tang

When I was younger, I never dreamt of being a wife. The most important aspect of my life was to find a career and be successful and happy. At least, that is how people were around me. Looking at successful people like Oprah and Daymond John inspired me to reach my goals.

I've made a vision board and on it were the cities I would want to visit or live in. There were cars, motorcycles, and a house I would want to move into. So many possibilities in life and one of the questions most of my relatives would ask is, "When will you have a boyfriend?" First off, I'm bisexual so I could have a wife or a husband.

But, I'm too independent and I'm focused on myself and I need to satisfy my needs.

An idea of dating or marrying someone is nice but I don't want to be stuck in a relationship where I'm not happy. Since I'm Asian, my relatives would like for me to be heterosexual and normal. No one is ever normal in this life and who I'm attracted to is be none of your concern. The only person I should listen to is myself.

If we're honest, I only care about my happiness and my needs.

I am a satisfied single and I will date/marry someone on my own terms. I will not look at my age and think, "Oh, I should marry someone before I'm 25 and have kids. You are not God. A partner will not magically appear on my doorstep. Also, no one is allowed to set me up with anyone. That is just disrespectful because I have said, "I am not interested."Also, my family would love for me to marry an Asian guy.

The pressures I have on marriage and dating an Asian guy just because it seems right and normal for them is stressing me out.

I have said, "I will marry whoever I want." My family would say, "Yes, but marry an Asian."

The words I want to spill out of my mouth are so unkind but have to keep quiet.

I will not marry someone just because of their race. I will not marry or even find someone until I have a career, have traveled on my own and own a house. There are bigger things I want to achieve in life other than having a family. Having a family is great but for me, I choose not to.

I did say, "I'll think about marriage in 20 years."

One of my aunts said, "Oh no. After you're 30, no one will want you. You need to have kids or at least be married by 25."

I would rather take care of myself. If I ever do get married, then my partner will have to learn to take care of themselves. I will be their partner but I sure as hell will not clean up after them every time they make a mess. You are not five.

I need to be comfortable with myself first. Taking care of myself and my mental health is my first priority. When my mental health is feeling good, then I will do a good job in life.

If we're honest, I have thought of marriage and kids but it'll happen when it'll happen. Pressuring me is not okay. I would rather someone ask me about my aspirations in life. What do I want to achieve? What have I written about for various mediums? What are my political views? Have I stood up for anything I believed in?

I want someone to look at me and be curious about my brain.

I'm trying to improve my writing skills, speaking skills and photography skills yet none of my relatives will notice because they are only curious about my love life. Love comes and goes but a career and achieving my goals are something I have to work for. I need to work for it first then love will come much later.

Again, I do not have to do anything if I do not want to. Telling me I need to do something before a certain age is insane.

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This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.
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