First off, I would like to say that in no way am I knocking the traditional family where parents are married and have been for years. I completely love that and agree with that scenario more than my own. I am just shedding light on what is the blended family, since it is the modern-day family, it seems. I know a lot of kids, myself included, whose family was not always together and who had a hard time with it growing up. There are a number of positive ways to view the blended family, and I've had the privilege to find these out as I got older and altered my perspective.
Growing up, I had my step-dad (who I referred to as my dad), mother, and half-brother, and this was the case until my parents got a divorce and my dad got remarried. At this point, I had a step-brother and a new step-mom whom I adored and loved. My step-brother is my best friend, and we coincidentally grew up together. Then my dad and step-mom had a little girl (my sister, who I’m not biologically related to) when I was just about to start high school. This family unfortunately ended up splitting up, but the bond we created as a family never falters. I still see my dad whenever I come home from school a lot, and I hang out with my brothers whenever I can if they’re both not busy. My step-brother plays baseball in college now, so he does not necessarily come home often, but I am able to see him out on the East Coast while my half-brother and sister are still at home.
I know that a lot of families today are structured this way, and it's becoming more and more the norm. I realize that it may not be the ideal formation of a family for the parents and especially for the children. I know for myself it was hard growing up having to deal with the idea that my biological dad was not around and not consistently in my life. But in reality, I’ve had my dad in my life for as long as I can remember. My step-dad has been the father figure and mentor in my life since I was little. As a police officer, he was very strict with my brother and I, and he treated us with the same respect. He went to all of our games and loved us with all he had. Even as that family split, and he took on another child (my step-brother), he continues to love and care for him with the relationship that they have. He goes out to visit and watch him play while staying up-to-date on what is going on in his life. In addition to my dad being the dad that he is and taking on more kids that are not biologically his, my step-mom took on more children as well with my half-brother and me. I cannot remember once where she treated us differently than her son or my sister (we all know she’s the favorite, though). If my step-mom were to meet someone randomly on the street and they were to ask her how many kids she has, she would say four without hesitation. At my signing day when I committed to go to play football at Penn, there were four adults and three kids that were my immediate family cheering me on and showing support.
My point here is that no matter what your family is like, two parents who have been together for years or parents who have been together, then separated and gotten remarried, they’re family nonetheless. It took me a while to figure this out, but family is what you make of it in a sense. Blood tells you who is your family, but you have the power to say who is your family and on whom you rely and go to. As you can see, my family situation is fairly confusing and jumbled up, but let me tell you, if I or any of my siblings go to any number of family holiday celebrations or events, there is nothing but love. I cannot preach enough how much that means to my siblings and me. Blended families then are something to appreciate, since in light of the dark things that have occurred, there is still a person who may not know you well but they love you and appreciate you. I know this is not the case with every family and there are families where things do not end for the better, but in that situation you can find a group of people you call your family. When I’m not home and 2,400 miles away, I have a family of more than 110 people involved with my football team. We love and care for each other; we realize how powerful it can be. Again, you get told who’s a part of your family by blood, but you choose who get to call your family. There’s always a family with welcoming arms. Love is a powerful thing; you just have to be open to it. That’s the beauty and reality of my blended family.
