There is an old saying, “You can pick your friends, but you can’t pick your family,” and odds are that at least one point in our lives we’ve all wished we could pick or alter what our family is like. There is something about family though that can’t be replaced; whether it be the fact that you put up with the same annoying relatives, or just that lifetime spent knowing them, no matter how much we gripe we always look for some sense of family.
Personally, I was raised by my mother and my maternal grandmother for the most of my childhood and teenage years. Being an only child, I grew very close to my four cousins when we were kids, and always wanted them to be my siblings even though I constantly annoyed them. I saw my paternal grandparents a few weeks out of the year, but I didn’t really know what “family” meant until I was near into adulthood.
So, here are four things I have learned about what family is, and why it is so important.
1. There is no one who knows you like your family.
Though it may seem an annoyance, there really isn’t anyone who knows you better than your own family. They can tell when you are upset, know what songs to play and things to do to make it better. Not only that, but they also are some of the people who take genuine interest in your likes and dislikes, can lead you to your passions, and even help you with them.
2. There is no one who will teach you better.
This one comes in a lot of different forms. Sure, family teaches us the basics: how to read, write, play, share, swim, and all of that, but there is something more important than that. They teach us our codes, our ethics, what we should and should not find acceptable. Sure, society imprints enough of that on us, but who is the first person to really try to teach you right and wrong? Often enough the greatest lessons we learn as people are from our family. Even though it might often be in scolding, we learn, and we grow from it.
3. Family isn’t only blood.
As previously mentioned, I was raised by my mom on my own with the occasional weekend visit to my maternal grandmother who lived 10 minutes away. The rest of my family was scattered across the United States with the nearest relatives being my paternal grandparents and cousins whom I saw two to three weeks a year. The remaining 48 to 49 weeks? Well, as I got older I began to realize my friends had become my family. They were my brothers, my sisters, they became my blood. They were there with me in my greatest hours of despair, in my most embarrassing moments, they became my blood. We all have friends like that, who become our family no matter how annoyed or frustrated we may get with them.
4. No matter what, or who, your family is always behind you.
Life doesn’t throw only curveballs. It throws rocks, knives, and every manner of object at you. Sometimes we can handle it, make it through, but when it finally knocks us back, who is there to catch us? More often than not it’s our family. Three a.m. phone calls to your sister after a bad breakup, trash talking your uncle over a football bet, or just checking in to hear their voice one time before class, they’re always there. No matter whom you consider family they will be there.
Now, no family is perfect, no family is normal, and no family is ever what you want to fit and tailor your every need. My family? My family is made up of people who share my blood and people who have bled for and with me. I have uncles who are not in the remotest way related, and I have cousins who helped me study and get my life together after my greatest tragedy. Family, no matter how crazy, annoying, or actually related, is important. And it’s important to recognize that.
