The picture of a family protrait can take many different forms depending on an individual’s personal camera through which they take snapshots of life.
When I was in elementary school I was taught that family takes the shape of a tree with the trunk being me and the branches reaching outwards and upwards to include the generations that stem from either side. One from your mom and one from your dad.
As someone who comes from what is probably considered by society to be a “traditional” family structure with a mother and a father who are married and together we live under one roof, I was satisfied with this tree-like structure. For a long time, when I thought of my family it consisted of my parents, my paternal grandparents, my paternal grandmother and grandfather, and my aunts, uncles, and cousins on my dad’s side of the family.
However, as I have grown up my definition of family from being one that includes the convenience of blood relatives to being inclusive of the relationships I have fostered with individuals in my life who hold a significant place in my heart because of the way they shape who I am and the influence they are having in my life.
To me, a member of one’s family should be a person whose relationship with you means the most, not the genetics. Unfortunately, having a shared strand of DNA with someone does not guarantee a healthy and meaningful relationship.
If you stop to consider marriage, this is a union of two people who have chosen to recognize the most significant of relationships to become a “family unit” and there is no biological connection involved, until the point at which that couple may decide to have children. These unions that happen every day are for the most part based off of the relationships which shows that it is the connections and emotional sparks between people that are most important when considering who your family is.
Today, when I look forward to spending the holidays with my family, the people who I look forward to sharing these special times with goes beyond just including the parents of my mom and dad, as well as my aunts and uncles, but it spreads out to be inclusive of others with whom I have a familial relationship with. Or, as one of my three grandfathers says, not just the maternal or paternal members of my family, but also the “external” members of my family.
I hope that this holiday season you too can be surrounded by the loved ones who mean the most to you and hold the biggest piece of your heart and that their company allows you to create holidays that are full of joy, gratitude, happiness and fond memories.
