Being Apart From Your Family Never Gets Easier

Being Apart From Your Family Never Gets Easier

Surprise visits? Out of the question. Short, weekend getaways from schoolwork? Not even close to feasible. It's hard, but it's something I have to deal with.
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In August, my family moved 3,869 miles away from my original hometown in New Jersey. We went from having a normal, American upbringing to picking up our entire lives and moving to Switzerland.

Yeah, I know what you're thinking, how in the world could that have happened?

Well, my dad's job takes us all over the place, and this time around, it was Switzerland. But how we got there isn't what matters; what matters is what happened once we got there.

As my family was moving to Switzerland, I was moving into college in Washington, D.C. We talked every day, as expected, but it was never easy. And it never got easy.

I've been at college for four months now and never has my being apart from my family been easy.

Everyone told me it would get easy, and I would be OK, which I am, but I don't like thinking about how far away my family is from me.

If you really sit down and think long and hard about it, it is terrifying to realize that the four most important people in my life (plus my two amazing dogs) are thousands of miles, multiple flights and one giant ocean away from me.

Surprise visits? Out of the question. Short, weekend getaways from schoolwork? Not even close to feasible.

It's hard, but it's something I have to deal with.

As a high schooler, I never thought that I would be close with my family. But something about picking up your life and moving miles away from your siblings and parents makes you realize how important they are to you; something in you just clicks and everything in you wants to stay home and never leave them.

I know it's not "cool" to miss your family, but I'm not here to be trendy--I'm here to be real.

My mom is my best friend, my dad is my biggest fan and my sisters are the ones who keep me going. And them being thousands of miles away (or even a few hundred miles away) is so incredibly hard for me.

And although it's hard, it has made me love and value my time with them even more than I already did.

Hopefully, one day, I'll be able to find a career that allows me to travel and explore the world while also allowing me to see my family often. But, for now, I'm living my college life, and casually counting down the days until I can see them again.

Cover Image Credit: Unsplash

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6 Signs You Need To End Your Friendship

Subtle ways to tell if your friend is a narcissist
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In your life, you will more likely than not run into people who do nothing but hurt you and bring you down. These people slowly become toxic to you, even if you don’t notice at first, and chances are they might be a narcissist. There comes a point where you will need to cut these individuals off for the betterment of yourself. If your friend does several of the things below, it might be time to reevaluate your friendship!

1. They are extremely self-centered

Everything this person does revolve around them. If it doesn’t help them out or make them look better they won’t bother with it.

Example: This person might come into your home/apartment to talk to your roommate and only acknowledge your presence when they want to brag about themselves to you, or only come over when they need something from you.

2. They feel like they are superior to you

Even if you have a better paying job or more fulfilling lifestyle, this person will always let you know that they are better than you. They are always in the right and will argue their point to the ground if need be. Because of this, often times they are quite condescending as well.

Example: Arguing with you on a topic that you clearly know more about and talking down to you in a demeaning tone.


3. They forever play the role of the victim

It doesn’t matter if they were actually the ones to cause trouble, these individuals will twist the story around and make sure everyone sees how “wounded” they are, convincing others that they are actually the victim. This person will consistently place the blame on other people.

Example: They might flirt hard-core with different guys in their room all night, but when their boyfriend breaks up with them it’s not because she blew him off for other guys, it’s because he was because he was being a jerk.

4. They are never there for you

Like mentioned earlier, if it doesn’t benefit them this person doesn’t care. If you need them or want to talk, they might leave you hanging. Emotional support will sound fake or not come from them at all.

Example: You might ask your “friend” to hang out only to find them blowing you off for no reason at all or for somebody else who is going to give them something in return for their time (party invites, food, popularity, etc). It isn’t uncommon for them to be deceiving about this and not often tell you their real reason for not wanting to see you.

5. They are two-faced

This individual can sometimes seem as sweet as can be upfront, but don’t tell them anything important, they might have a habit of using it against you. Trash talking you behind your back is also very common and to be expected.

Example: You tell this person something extremely personal and they turn around and immediately tell everyone they know, disregarding any promises made about secrecy.

6. They make you question yourself

Are they really a bad person, or are you just overreacting? Most of the time, these people know what they’re doing (either consciously or subconsciously) and use it as a tactic to manipulate you.

Example: Something you said with good intentions can be turned into an insult and that person may make you blame yourself for not saying the right thing.

If you go through this list and notice that you do every single one of these things to other people, then I hate to break it to you but you're probably a narcissist

Cover Image Credit: Photo by Ashley Williams from Pexels

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I Wish I Could Remember You More, Mom

I carry you with me; I carry you in my heart.
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It has been fourteen years since I lost you, Mom.

Fourteen years since I have heard your voice, seen you smile, or told you I love you.

There are some days I wish I could remember more. I wish I could remember what music you listened to, your morning routine, or your touch. It would be so easy to remember if I could press rewind and replay those one more time.

I was eleven years old when you were taken from me, yet it doesn’t seem like I was that young. Sometimes I get so angry for not remembering the small things. I will never know what your biggest dreams were growing up, how you became so passionate about art, or what your favorite song was. I will always wonder what your favorite childhood memory was, what you loved to cook, or what your biggest adventure was.

It has always been the little things I want back.

I don't remember every detail about you, but I am blessed to say I remember enough.

Because what I do remember, is vivid enough.

While I complained and whined about going to swim practice, you still managed to attend all my practices and meets in pain, barely able to walk.

While you and dad broke the news to me, you fought back your tears.

And while I was in denial and ignored the pain, you conquered it full on.

I keep these memories close in my heart. These might not be the best moments, but they are some of the most powerful memories on replay.

Sometimes I feel guilty, Mom. I should have been more loving. I should have done more for you. I should have appreciated more. I was just a careless little girl. I'm so sorry.

The night before you past, Dad told me your time was coming soon. We weren't very strong, Mom. It was the first time I saw Dad cry.

He told me to say goodbye, but I didn't want to. I tried my best to get out of it. I told him it wouldn't happen.

Not today, not tomorrow, and not in three years.

That night I told you I loved you, you told me you loved me back.

I heard many voices the next morning. Grandma referred to you in past tense as "the youngest one." Right then and there, I knew my goodbye was real. I hid under my covers Mom, hiding as best as I could. I did everything to avoid walking through my closed bedroom door. I will never forger the reality that hit me when Dad walked through that door.

That night was the last night we spoke Mom, the last time I saw you alive.

While there is so much I wish I could remember, I will never regret nor forget the time I said I love you one last time.

I will never rewind and say this was something I should have done.

I hope one day we will meet again, Mom.

Until then, I carry you with me; I carry you in my heart.


Cover Image Credit: Instagram

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