Being Apart From Your Family Never Gets Easier

Being Apart From Your Family Never Gets Easier

Surprise visits? Out of the question. Short, weekend getaways from schoolwork? Not even close to feasible. It's hard, but it's something I have to deal with.

In August, my family moved 3,869 miles away from my original hometown in New Jersey. We went from having a normal, American upbringing to picking up our entire lives and moving to Switzerland.

Yeah, I know what you're thinking, how in the world could that have happened?

Well, my dad's job takes us all over the place, and this time around, it was Switzerland. But how we got there isn't what matters; what matters is what happened once we got there.

As my family was moving to Switzerland, I was moving into college in Washington, D.C. We talked every day, as expected, but it was never easy. And it never got easy.

I've been at college for four months now and never has my being apart from my family been easy.

Everyone told me it would get easy, and I would be OK, which I am, but I don't like thinking about how far away my family is from me.

If you really sit down and think long and hard about it, it is terrifying to realize that the four most important people in my life (plus my two amazing dogs) are thousands of miles, multiple flights and one giant ocean away from me.

Surprise visits? Out of the question. Short, weekend getaways from schoolwork? Not even close to feasible.

It's hard, but it's something I have to deal with.

As a high schooler, I never thought that I would be close with my family. But something about picking up your life and moving miles away from your siblings and parents makes you realize how important they are to you; something in you just clicks and everything in you wants to stay home and never leave them.

I know it's not "cool" to miss your family, but I'm not here to be trendy--I'm here to be real.

My mom is my best friend, my dad is my biggest fan and my sisters are the ones who keep me going. And them being thousands of miles away (or even a few hundred miles away) is so incredibly hard for me.

And although it's hard, it has made me love and value my time with them even more than I already did.

Hopefully, one day, I'll be able to find a career that allows me to travel and explore the world while also allowing me to see my family often. But, for now, I'm living my college life, and casually counting down the days until I can see them again.

Cover Image Credit: Unsplash

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To The Person Who Feels Like They Lost Their Best Friend

If you're feeling distant from your best friend, this is a must read for you.

To the person who feels like they've lost their best friend,

We've all been there, but let me tell you from personal experience, if you've lost them, you lucked out because they weren't really your best friend. If someone is truly your BEST friend, they will do anything in their power to make sure to always stay in contact, fix any argument, and always make sure you are taken care of. I don't know your exact circumstance and what exactly happened to you and your best friend, but I too have been in your position.

One thing I want to make a point of is, sometimes friends get distracted and busy and that's totally okay, you haven't lost them forever, they will be back and you will pick up right where you left. There have been times where I felt as if I had lost my best friend but once they got what they needed to deal with on their own, we picked up right where we left off. So, if they are acting distant, give them a little bit of time to figure out things going on in their life and see how you feel in a week or two. If you still feel as if they are being distant, talk to them about it. One of the things I've learned in the past 18 years is Communication is KEY! For any relationship, whether, that be a friendly or romantic one, it is SO important!

If you and your friend are in a fight and you feel as if it's never going to be fixed and the damage is there forever; just know that NO fight can't be solved. I know sometimes people can be stubborn, but at some point, someone needs to be the bigger person and make an effort to talk to the other. If you're the stubborn one in the friendship, try and push yourself outside of your comfort level and simply start by asking if you can talk to them. Sometimes the other person is waiting for you to make the move. Always try and talk out your fights whenever you can, if you don't talk and express your feelings with the other person, things will never get better. Trust me, from personal experience, I know how hard things can get between friends when you try and hide your feelings.

If you are in the situation where you feel like your best friend has replaced you, I know how much it hurts. I have felt the same way so many times, but it's best not to say anything at first and wait to see how things play out. It's okay for your best friend to have other friends, everyone needs to have different friends, that's just part of life. As long as they're still making time for you, it's completely fine! Sometimes friends get distant or sometimes they even need a break from each other altogether, but it doesn't always mean you're being replaced. If after some time you still feel as if you're getting replaced, reach out to your friend and ask to make plans with them. Sometimes people want you to be the one to make plans first and you might be surprised how well your next time you see each other goes! If you two are truly best friends you can never be replaced.

Friendships come and go, but if someone is truly your best friend they will always come back after being distant, you two will get over any fight, and you can never be replaced. Hang in there and try talking to them about your feelings. Things will get better for the two of you!

Cover Image Credit: Pexels

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An Open Letter To My Dad

I'm sorry for never believing you.

Dear Dad,

I know I never made things super easy for you, considering all of my backtalk, temper tantrums, and emotional rampages. I know I said awful things to you in the heat of arguments that I felt like I couldn't win. I know that at some points, I could not wait to get away and live without your constant rule in college. But this is the moment you have been waiting for: You were right, and I was wrong.

Every time you yelled at me for wearing too much makeup, you could expect a blow up no matter who else was in the room. I thought you were being old fashioned and trying to keep me from growing up. Even when you claimed you were saying it to be nice, I didn't believe you. I thought you didn't want me growing up and were using excuses to justify it. But now, I get it. I get that wearing so much makeup is just covering up my beauty that you always saw. I get that you were just trying to tell me that I was perfect the way I was. For those fights, I am sorry.

Every fight we had about my outfits ended in tears and frustration. Whether I was heading out the door to a middle school dance or prom dress shopping, I always knew that you would never like what I picked out. You would comment that it showed too much skin or would give boys the wrong idea about me. I thought you were being an annoying dad who wasn't progressive enough.

But coming to college, I get it. I get that dressing a certain way gives off certain ideas. I get that as unfortunate as it is, I have to dress modestly if I do not want to receive looks and glances that make me scared and uncomfortable. You were only trying to protect me and teach me a lesson about the cruel realities of the world. For those fights, I am sorry.

Every time you told me I wasn't confident enough, I would always cry. Why couldn't you just see that I had a backbone, whether or not I stuck up to people? Didn't you get that I didn't want drama to deal with, and sometimes I just had to keep quiet? You always told me I let people walk all over me. I never believed you. But now, I get it. I see that people will take advantage of you for being too nice or too accepting. You were only trying to teach me that I need to stand my ground, and be confident in my beliefs and decisions. For those fights, I am sorry.

Every time we got in the car to practice driving, I thought we were going to kill each other. You would yell that I needed to pay better attention and that I was going to get into an accident if I didn't take it seriously. I blew you off as being anxious and frustrated and decided to blast music and drive *somewhat* recklessly after receiving my license.

But now, I get it. After getting into my first, and very bad, accident, I realized you were right all along. After hearing the crashing of metals and being thrown around in the car, I finally get it. When I saw you pull up to the accident scene, I was scared that you were going to yell at me and take my license away. Instead, all you did was hug me and tell me you loved me.

I realized that you weren't trying to stress me out, or scare me into not wanting to drive so you would always get to drive me everywhere. You were trying to save my life. For those fights, I am sorry.

Let's not forget every single fight we have ever had about boys. You always seemed to have a problem with anyone, saying they were never good enough or that I deserved so much better. I thought you were being harsh and judgmental, and that you would never accept anything. But now, I get it. You were only trying to stress how special I am, and how I deserve to have a guy who treats me like I am the only girl in the world. For those fights, I am sorry.

For every single fight we have ever had, you were only trying to prepare me for what the world is truly filled with. Not everyone is as nice and thoughtful as you, and that's why you had to make me aware of the harsh realities that I could unfortunately have to face. Thank you for never failing to make me laugh, cry, and smile whenever I need it.

Cover Image Credit: News@Northeastern

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