What My Fall Outs With My College Friends Taught Me
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What My Fall Outs With My College Friends Taught Me

"People are people, and sometimes it doesn't work out..." Taylor Swift

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What My Fall Outs With My College Friends Taught Me
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Since entering my teen years I have always struggled to make friends. Maybe it was due to my strong personality or people just being in certain cliques. People also just drift apart. I have always had most people tell me though that I am a good person which helped me with my confidence a bit. I do my best to value my friendships everyday. When a friendship ends for me though especially a close one, I take it to heart. I finally made a few friends in high school but I definitely made more friends in college. College was definitely more of my prime time where I branched out to a lot of people. I never thought I would make so many great friendships and memories with others. However, I thought many of the people that I met in college would be my "forever friends." Unfortunately, that was not the case. No one is a perfect friend and by no means is anyone perfect. Whoever or whatever is to blame for a fall out, sometimes you truly can not stay friends with everyone no matter how hard you try and you just got to let it happen. My fall outs with my past college friends impacted me negatively but somehow also positively.

I do not like to even think about and I do not enjoy trying to figure how many fall outs I have had in college or even throughout my life. I know that I have had fall outs with five college friends who I lived with throughout my years at school (five sounds big, I know) and even a few more who I did not live with (that sounds bad also). I could go into a huge detailed story about how each of the fall outs happened but to be quite honest, that would take long and there's no point of bringing up every dragging detail from the past. It is in the past for a reason. To explain shortly, some of us had arguments or disagreements. Or some of them found other friends to hang with more which made our friendships drift apart. Some also just stopped talking to me and I did not know what I did to them. Or maybe I am a horrible friend, or vice versa. I am weighing those as options too. The reasons are endless. You definitely get to see peoples true colors once you live with them and sometimes even if you do not live with them. I learned that I was no angel to live with and be around at times but I too realized that some of these "friends" that I had were not that easy to get along with either. As I said before though, no one is a perfect friend or human (congrats if you are because you are pretty talented). I never thought the friends who I lived with and others who I have hung out with so much would turn out to be my enemies. A little bit scary and weird at times.

From May until now, I was in constant pain for losing many of the college friends who I thought were my forever friends. And with the throwing away of old photos and deleting them off social media, I did not know what else to do. I kept replaying the situations over and over in my head of how everything happened with each person but there was just so much to think of. I kept saying to myself am I that much of a horrible person that they made me out to be? Is everything my fault? Am I annoying? Why did they do this to me? What should I have done differently? Am I not nice enough? I realized over months passing though, I am not a bad person. Like Taylor Swift said "People are people, and sometimes we change our minds." I guess they changed their minds and sometimes I had to change my mind too. I needed to realize that sometimes you truly were not meant to be friends with everyone and I needed to look elsewhere.

Some people reading this article may think "Wow she lost a lot of friends in college she lived with" or "She is probably a mean person." However, that is not the case. There is so much to each story that not even an article can cover. In the end though, maybe I was hanging with the wrong people, or those people did not take the time to understand me. Maybe I myself did not understand them quite well enough or know them well enough as I thought I did. Maybe they did not get the chance to see my point of view. Maybe I needed to walk in their shoes for a day or vice versa. Or maybe things happen for a reason. Whatever the case, like I said, the past is in the past. These fall outs may have hurt me but in some odd way have turned out for the better. That same semester while some of my relationships were going downhill, I started to branch out to others and even had others branch out to me. I had people who actually wanted to hang with me and I was too blind to see it. It makes me think that if I did not spend so much time and energy trying too fix relationships that was doomed to end, I could have hung out with people that actually wanted to be with me.

I started hanging out with my coworkers from work who I now Facetime everyday. I started hanging out with my dance friends. I became close with this girl who invited me on Birthright (basically if you are Jewish you can get a free trip to Israel). She even introduced me to one of her friends who I met on our senior cruise at college who I still talk to everyday. I kept in touch with my freshman and junior year roomie who still pays a visit to me. I reconnected with an old friend and even others who went through similar situations. It turns out I am not the only one who had bad fall outs with friends they lived with or were close with. Who would have known? I hangout with my coworkers from the restaurant I work at. I had an old co worker from my first job text me actually write before I wrote this article that "I can only see great things in you." Those words meant a lot because I have had other people tell me that too and I used to not believe it because of the fall outs.

So in some weird twisted way, the fall outs with my old college friends may have turned out for the better. I became closer with other people from college (who I cannot wait to see soon!) and my friends from work. Sometimes, you just cannot stay friends with everyone you thought you were going to stay friends with. You can try to repair them and sometimes if it works, nice job. I tried communicating openly, chatting and texting some of the friends I lost, but no luck. Their loss. It can hurt for a while but the best part about life is that it goes on. Thank goodness. Best part is that there are SO many people in the world to make connections with.

Some final reflections to my old college friends/suitemates. We obviously do not talk anymore and you all were clearly able to move ahead with your lives without me which I must admit is pretty cool. I wish I was able to get over you guys so quickly. Who knows, maybe some of us will talk again some day. I know when I see most of you awkward glances will probably happen (because that happened last time). Maybe someday that will turn into a smile or at least a hello. And if not, it is okay. The friendships we had in the past were fun while it lasted. I am finally at peace with myself and I am glad for the relationships I have now. You guys are happy with your new friends and without me, it is what you wanted. Who knows, maybe one of you will write an article about me explaining the fall outs (please be nice though!). Lastly to my friends going through or went through a similar situation, you have a friend right here. Also as cheesy as this sounds, you should always "Be true to yourself" in the best and kindest way you can. Your real friends will appreciate it.

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This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.
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