As I wait impatiently on a line as I've done thousands of times. I see someone I used to know and I can't quite remember why we don't talk anymore, but I do remember the things my friend told me about them and I remember what I was wearing the day I told someone else what I had heard, because I couldn't keep the gossip to myself.

This line is moving, but it's moving so slow, and I can feel my old friend anxiety start to rear it's ugly head.

I know that I might not have enough to get in, but I figure I can talk my way into anything. Just like that time I talked my way out of class early. I gave a white lie "family emergency". My emergency you may ask... I had to meet up with "friends".

My stomach gives a loud grumble, and I know I'm hungry, but if I get off the line I will have to go the back and start the line again, so I hold in my hunger... unlike that time the congregation fasted on Sunday & I snuck off to eat an empanada at 12.

As the line shortens I watch people go in, and some get turned away, and I can't help the feeling of uneasiness settling in my stomach. I thought it was hunger, but maybe it's my nerves. I try to distract my mind, but images are running through my mind as my brain tries desperately to keep up.

Only two more people ahead and I feel the cold sweat start to form on my forehead. My palms are clammy and I start to make a mental list of things I will say. In a weak attempt I close my eyes and pray I have enough to get in.

I take 4 steps and stop. My chest tightens. I'm next.

He asks "how much did you bring?"

I pause.

I can't seem to mouth anything.

I am at an utter loss of words, and my voice fails me.

I know this is the only chance I have.

I must plead my case and I begin to speak.

With a cracked and stuttering voice I say...

I bring you my Worship ... I sang songs of praise to you every service.

Well most of them, sometimes I wouldn't be in the mood to sing cause I was having a bad day.

Also, Please pay no mind to the worldly music on my phone. At least they had no curses (sometimes).

Here in this journal are all the times I prayed to you.

Don't count the times I got distracted and checked my social media instead.

I brought you a souvenir of the missions trip I went on.

Please ignore the fact I never evangelized in my town.

I have written here all the times I spoke of who you are and what you've done in my life.

Don't count the times I disobeyed, or the times I've questioned you.

I went to Sunday school and even taught a class or two.

I preached and participated

I cried and even went up for alter callings

I was a leader, a preacher, a teacher, and a friend.

This is all I have to pay for my entrance.

Silence...

It was the loudest noise I've ever experienced.

In a last minute attempt I look up and smile.

My smile was a desperate plea for my life. He'd definitely have a hard time turning me away now.

As He starts to speak all I hear is static, but then I hear the most unexpected words fall on my ears...

"I'm sorry"

Panic sets in.

I realize that what I believed all along is true.

"It's just not enough". "I am not enough"

My nervous smile is quickly transformed into a panicked face.

I can hear my heart stop beating.

The air is knocked out of my lungs

My legs cave and I'm brought to my knees

Everything suddenly stops. Then all at once I feel it rush and crash over me.

I let out a cry, and the tears can't escape my eyes quick enough. In this moment I know it's over.

Then I hear mighty footsteps in the background.

I feel a majestic presence come over me.

For a second everything and everyone freezes.

I feel a strong hand grab me and lift me up.

By the firm but gentle touch I know exactly who He is.

He is my savior.

He is my redeemer.

He is my friend & loyal confidant.

He is the lover of my soul.

He is my only hope.

He says "Father...Let her in".

I gave my life so that she may have an eternal one.

Even if people said she isn't enough, I say she is more than enough.

I shed my blood, to make her dress as white as snow.

I nailed every single sin and transgression on the cross on Calvary.

I paid the ultimate price, for her life.

I am hers, and she is Mine.

With His grace my debt was paid, and I was allowed entry.