Dear You,
I thought I was in love. I thought it was a mutual feeling. I don’t regret any of it. But I wish I made wiser decisions. I wish I wasn’t so quick to say yes to you. I wish I would have known in advance, that you would break me. I wish I would have forgiven myself sooner. I wish I would have known that you were going to use me. To know that my friends were right. To know that I should have trusted their judgment.
Thank you. Thank you for listening to me when I was sad. Thank you for letting me vent. Thank you for knowing more about me than most do. Thank you for opening up to me about your life, because I know how hard it was for you. Thank you for helping me learn more about my life and what I needed than I could have imagined. Thank you for feeding me and keeping me warm. Thank you for watching an absurd amount of The Office with me.
Sorry I confused your friendliness with desire to be more. Sorry that I took your flirtation as you wanting to be more than just friends. Sorry that I wasn’t enough. Sorry that I didn’t understand all of the things you thought. I’m sorry you haven’t had a friend for more than a year. I’m sorry that I stopped being your friend. I’m sorry that I refused to believe you when you said it was just lust. But it was just lust.
But I have to ask, why? Why did you lead me on? Why did you call me pretty and not expect me to think you wanted more? Why did cuddle me and whisper secrets in my ear and not think you wanted more? Why was I not enough? Why did you hurt me? Why did you think it was okay to use me? Why did you tell me things you told no one else? Why did you trust me with your issues? Why did you choose me to befriend? Why couldn’t it have been someone else? Why did you use me? Why did you choose someone else over me? Why was I so easily replaceable? Why did you not miss me when we stopped being friends? Why were you so devoid of emotions? Why have you stopped wanting to hang out with me? Why did you let me go? Why did you not see that I was more than enough?
I’m done. I’m done feeling sorry for myself. I’m done waiting for you to realize that I’m all you ever wanted. I’m done thinking that you will realize you messed up. I’m done being sad about our loss. I’m done being worried about what you think about me. I’m done hoping you will miss me. I’m done blaming myself for your stupidity. I’m done thinking that you needed me like I needed you. Cause you didn’t. And I see that now.
I’m ready to move on. I’m ready to put myself first. I am ready to spend time learning on how to better myself. I’m ready to meet someone who will love me for all of who I am. I’m ready to meet someone who will put my feelings and needs before theirs, unlike you did. I’m ready to fall in love. I’m ready to forget about you.
Sincerely,
Me
