Anyone attempting to conduct his/her life in a profoundly Christian manner knows that living the Christian life is difficult. We all struggle with sin and temptation. We all fall down. And we all are called to get back up. We are called to continue fighting the good fight, to continue finishing the race, to continue keeping the faith (2 Timothy 4:7).
But what happens when we feel unable to get up? How will we react when a habitual sin has tripped us up to the point of not even desiring to avoid it? How do we recover from losses so devastating that they necessitate redefining who we see ourselves as?
The answer to these difficult questions begins with the realization that the Christian faith is not one that can be lived out alone. This is not about you and your own personal Jesus. This is about God incarnate Who came and dwelt among us, died in the flesh, and rose from the dead to save all of humanity from sin and death and hell. And we need His intercession and mercy so that we are able to change and redirect our own lives back towards Him. This work of redirecting our life towards Christ is known as the work of repentance, or of μετάνοια (pronounced, “metanoia,” the Greek word for repentance). The word μετάνοια literally means to change one’s thoughts in a way that leads to the reorientation of one’s actions and behaviors. Thus, repentance is not only a feeling of guilt or sorrow for what one has done (although that may be part of it), but is also a call to change our entire being into a manner that reflects the mission we all have been given to become like God.
So when we have fallen, we are called to get back up by asking for God’s forgiveness, mercy, and strength to change ourselves to become more like Himself. But this work is not easy and often takes an entire lifetime to even begin to accomplish. Few will have radical stories of repentance like St. Mary of Egypt did, as miraculous as they are. Rather, most of us will experience repentance as a lifetime journey and process of continuing to reorient ourselves towards God. This is the kind of repentance that Christ spoke of when He preached, “Repent, for the kingdom of heaven is at hand.” (Matthew 3:2). Archimandrite Vasilios speaks of repentance in the following manner:
They are not men who have been converted, who have repented. They are men who are being converted, who are repenting. The Lord’s call to repentance does not mean that we should be converted only once, nor that we should repent from time to time (though we should begin with that). It means that our whole life should be a conversion, a constant repentance.
It is this kind of repentance that God seeks, the kind that allows us to be sorrowful for our sins and shed tears over them, which are a second baptism that cleanses us. We go to confession to ask for God’s forgiveness and mercy, Who grants it to us through the priest participating in the divine mystery of God’s forgiveness in the sacrament of Confession. This is a major part of the process of healing and forgiveness in order to become an authentic human created in the image of God. As St. Isaac of Syria once said, “The sick one who is acquainted with his sickness is easily to be cured, and he who confesses his pain is near to health.” We strive to do better. And if we fall down again, we get up again.
This is the Christian life. It is a life of sorrowful joy, a life of joyful sorrow. It is as Christ said in the Sermon on the Mount: “Blessed are you that weep now, for you shall laugh.” (Luke 6:21). We weep over our sins now so that we may experience the eternal joy of God’s presence in the world to come.
So if you are struggling to live the Christian life and often fall down, come to the Church, where you shall receive God’s forgiveness and strength to continue to struggle by His grace. To the God of the penitents we give glory, to the Father and to the Son and to the Holy Spirit, both now and ever and unto the ages of ages. Amen.