I read an article by Live Science recently that said that parents who put on a happy face are actually suffering more than they think they are. In addition to that, parents believe that putting on a happy face in front of their children actually shortens the bond in their relationship. After reading it, however, a question posed in my head: what about the kids? Doesn't it go both ways?

To agree with the article, it can have a negative effect on the parent/child bond, but it's not just the parents who are suffering. The kids are suffering too.

Since we are young, we are conditioned to say "good" or "fine" when someone asks how we are doing. Without even realizing it, we put on a happy face. As humans, we have an overwhelming desire to be loved and accepted, especially by our family. When there is any kind of threat to that, we hide and conform ourselves to an extent to give off an illusion that we are someone or something to their liking.

Kids and teenagers are always putting on happy faces. For younger kids, they could be being bullied at school and they don't want their parents to find out, or there could be some kind of abuse going on at home that they don't want other people to know about. Regardless of the situation, they will react in such a way that they will pretend like they're okay and everything is fine. Teenagers, on the other hand, could put on their masks because of pressures from friends, school, relationships, or because they're somewhere in the LBGTQ+ spectrum and are afraid of being who they really are in fear of rejection. Teenagers would do similar things to protect themselves - smiling, acting like they are happy, and saying everything is okay. It's at night when they break down and feel helpless.

All of this can be similar to how a parent feels when they put on a happy face for their kids. Someone is always hiding something, there is suffering, and a feeling of a diminishing bond.

Though I do not have any children of my own, I understand that certain things that happen shouldn't be made completely known to young children. However, I also know what it's like to give and receive a happy face, and it's not fun either way. I think it's important for young children to see their parents cry or be sad, or something similar. They should be aware that their parents are humans too, and that they have feelings just like everyone else. Though this may require giving a light explanation as to why the parent is feeling the way the are, this can help the child by giving them a better understanding as to what is going on in the parent's life while teaching them how to be more sympathetic. This can take away the stress of bottling emotions and putting on a fake smile, and can strengthen the parent/child bond.

Life is hard, and we have to get through it somehow. Going through acting like everything is okay when it's not builds up, and can eventually send someone spiraling downward into a depression. Overplaying happiness can lead to an explosion later on. A person can be fine one second, and then having a mental break-down or a panic attack the next. Kids and teenagers need to have an outlet, and if they feel like they can't talk to their parents, then where do they go? Two major components in having a good bond with someone is trust and honesty. Instead of hiding things, it's best to have at least a little bit of trust in your parents or children. You don't know all that they're capable of handling. And who knows, if you open up to them, they might surprise you and be able to help you too.