With the holidays rolling through soon (OK, let's be honest, crashing through), there's no doubt that we'll all be forced to eventually make the rounds of Christmas and New Year's parties. Whether your hosting your own or hopping from friend to friend's, don't show up empty-handed. Here are four fancy, "real person" adult drinks (put your Raspberry Svedka away, you amateurs) that will no doubt impress your friends and make you the life of the party.
1. The Woo Woo
Granted, with a name like "Woo Woo," it doesn't exactly sound, well, mature. But don't judge a drink by its name, friends: This easy cocktail is about as mature as Mrs. Robinson. An ordinary vodka cran gets a fresh twist when it's blended with lime juice, mixed with a splash of Peach Schnapps, and served over a few ice cubes. Sweet, tangy, and packed with a punch.
2. The Old Fashioned
OK, a little bit of chemistry comes into play with this one, but it's completely worth the effort. The Old Fashioned, though revered in the cocktail community, is actually really easy to make. Muddle a sugar cube, a splash of bitters, and orange zest together, two ounces of your preferred whiskey or bourbon (but seriously, go with whiskey you weirdo), pour over a single large ice cube, and drop a maraschino cherry in that b*tch. Garnish with orange peel if you want. Boom. Don Draper would approve.
3. The Classic Martini
If you don't like gin, then you've only had bad gin. But don't worry, you won't make a bad martini. Because you're going to swallow your pride and buy nice gin, right? Right. Martinis are super freaking easy. Just pour a little bit of dry vermouth in a chilled martini glass and swirl it around until the glass is covered. In a shaker full of ice, swirl or stir (don't shake, you're not James Bond) the gin before straining it into the glass. Serve with ice or not, garnish with a lemon twist or be gross and add an olive.
4. Mango Margarita
Grab a blender. Throw in two cups of ice, a 10 ounce bag of frozen diced mango, 2/3 cups of tequila (80 proof, don't be stingy with your tequila money), 2 tablespoons of orange liqueur, and 1/4 cup fresh lime juice. Blend that sh*t until it's as smooth as your sister's junior year boyfriend. Pour into glasses, garnish with lime, and win hearts everywhere.
I hope this has been a comprehensive guide for how to get your drink on like a champ this holiday season. Enjoy responsibly, and remember, people who buy drinks at bars are wasting their money. Go forth, comrades, and deck the freakin' halls.
