I've Got Fake People Showing Fake Love To Me

I've Got Fake People Showing Fake Love To Me

You've gotta know the fake ones to know the real ones.
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Fake friends are like rubber bands.

I made this analogy during a conversation with my roommate the other day. She laughed but as I explained what I meant, I think she slowly started to agree with me.

As an almost 20-year-old, I’ve met a variety of people and have made friends along the way. I’ve realized, however, that not all of them are actually my friends.

As a freshman in college, I was so innocent and naive when it came to making new friends. I believed the best in people and trusted them wholly until they gave me a reason not to. But even then, I felt myself giving them time after time to fix their mistakes. I still wanted to be their friend even though they had let me down repeatedly.

Now, I’ve realized that maybe it wasn’t them; it was me. It took me a while to understand that my expectations were just too high. Growing up back at home, more specifically on my street, I made some of my best friends that I’ve known since I was six. We grew up together. We went through similar experiences together. We became friends at an age where there were no expectations, but rather at a time where I was forming them and my standards of friendship.

I'd had the perfect idea of friendship in my mind.

Going into college, I quickly realized that those friendships are special and that not all friendships are on the same playing field.

Through making these new “friends,” I’ve encountered some people whom I referred previously to as rubber bands. These people are only friends when it’s convenient for them when they want something from or out of you. They don’t actually care if there’s something wrong with you and they come running to you if they ever have a problem only you can solve for them.

Just like a rubber band, the more I saw my self stretching out and distancing myself, I’d notice that they’d spring right back to me after not receiving my attention. Unfortunately, in the beginning, even I had made the mistake of trying to get close to them, while they’d just pull back. It’s an endless back and forth. But, in the end, who actually wins?

The truth is, you’re gonna meet a whole lot of rubber bands in your life. But, it’s ultimately your choice to separate those people from the real friends you have. The ones who either don’t have expectations or the ones that hold the same expectations that you have. Those are your real friends. Remember that, eventually, rubber bands snap and break. Real friendships are there forever.

Cover Image Credit: Pexels

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A Letter To My Freshman Dorm Room As I Pack Up My Things

Somehow a 15' x 12' room became a home.

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Dear Geary 411,

With your creaky beds, concrete walls, and mismatched tile floors, you are easily overlooked as just another room we were randomly assigned to— but you were different. Inside your old walls, I have made some of the best memories of my life that I will hold on to forever.

Thank you for welcoming my neighbors in with open arms who quickly became friends who didn't knock and walked in like you were their own.

I feel like an apology is needed.

We're sorry for blaring the music so loud while getting ready and acting like we can actually sing when, in reality, we know we can't. Sorry for the dance parties that got a bit out of control and ended with us standing on the desks. Sorry for the cases of the late-night giggles that came out of nowhere and just would not go away. Sorry for the homesick cries and the "I failed my test" cries and the "I'm dropping out" cries. We're sorry for hating you at first. All we saw was a tiny and insanely hot room, we had no idea what you would bring to us.

Thank you for providing me with memories of my first college friends and college experiences.

As I stand at the door looking at the bare room that I first walked into nine months ago I see so much more than just a room. I see lots and lots of dinners being eaten at the desks filled with stories of our days. I see three girls sitting on the floor laughing at God knows what. I see late night ice cream runs and dance battles. I see long nights of homework and much-needed naps. Most importantly, I look at the bed and see a girl who sat and watched her parents leave in August and was absolutely terrified, and as I lock you up for the last time today, I am so proud of who that terrified girl is now and how much she has grown.

Thank you for being a space where I could grow, where I was tested physically, mentally and emotionally and for being my home for a year.

Sincerely,

A girl who is sad to go

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The Path Ahead Of Me

Create your own path to find yourself and the life you wish to live.

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"Fortunately, the sun has a wonderfully glorious habit of rising every morning. When the sky lightened, when the birds awoke, I knew I would never again see anything so splendid as the round red sun coming up over the Earth." Sam Gribley had an outlook on life that many people fail to see.

We often get stuck in the movements and routines of our day. We forget to live a little and enjoy our time here on our precious Earth. Lately, I myself have fallen into these motions and felt like a puppet in my own life. The simplest of solutions have lifted my spirits and have started to bring me back to my previous ways. Although Sam is a fictional character, he has a lot of truth behind his words. Each day the sun will rise, so no matter how hard yesterday was tomorrow is always a fresh start.

A few changes I have realized in myself are I have been making less negative comments and I have felt more confident. With the negativity changing in myself, I have also tried to make others more positive when they are down. I have had more confidence in my own abilities as a student and with the way, I look each day. Putting my own self down wouldn't get me anywhere in life.

While reading "My Side of the Mountain" by Jean Craighead George, I felt inspired to take on more challenges in life and have higher standards. The life I live will be filled with positive people, good memories, and I will strive each day toward my goals. Each of us has our own mountain to conquer and I take mine day by day with my head high and towards the sun.

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