Consistency and roots have always been considered positive elements in life, some would even say a ‘normal’ part of life. One aspect of this is having a relationship; a husband, a white picket fence, and 2.5 children. I was always told that wanting this was the equivalent of being normal. So not wanting this supposed dream meant that somehow I was broken, or lacking in a way that others were not.
I was never the little girl that dreamed of her picturesque wedding. When I played house with friends I never had children or a partner, but instead I always created a profession that I loved. In my mind the most important element of the game was the theory that I could have anything I wanted, that I could be anything I wanted. So I imagined participating in a career, whichever was my favorite at the time. Of course there were always those that would point out to me that I was not playing right.
To them even though this was an imaginary game I needed a husband. I needed to be at home taking care of the children. That if the choice was ever presented to me I would have to choose children over a career. My personal ambitions would have to align with those that society deemed appropriate. I had to be the living personification of the perfect homemaker. Apparently these were ‘normal’ wants for any ‘normal’ girl and I had to follow along. However, I never saw the point in pretending these were my dreams above all else.
I was the little girl that pretended to be an artist, writer, business woman, banker, doctor, etc. I was the little girl that built her dreams around what she would achieve on her own one day. None were centered around finding a partner that would be my other half, because I did not need to be completed.
I still do not believe that I need to be completed by anyone else, but others may believe I do. So this article is for them. I am sorry that you never could expand your minds beyond gender roles that are far beyond outdated. I am sorry that you couldn’t realize that women are more than capable of supporting themselves. I am sorry that you thought that in order for a girl to be happy all she needed was a husband and children, that this was the only thing she could ever dream of. However, I am not sorry that I never fit into the mold you so desperately wanted me to take on.
Here is the dream: There is a large bay window, allowing sunlight to slowly drip into the apartment. You can smell a fresh pot of coffee. You can hear a chair sliding across the wooden floors. You can see The New York Times being gently folded open. A sip of coffee is taken and then my article begins being consumed.In my dream there is no husband, no white picket fence, no children. In my dream there is the knowledge that I finally reached an ambition that I have had since the first time I picked up a pen and paper. The day that this is achieved will be the day that I reach true happiness.