If you're a student who values your education I'm sure you've been hit hard with defeat, or at least feel the heat of coming close to it.
As someone who has struggled with test taking in the past, I have a lot of strong opinions on this time of the year. Now, If you've read the title of this article and said, "That is NOT okay", please don't click out of this.
Last week I took my second statistic exam of the year. I came into it about with about 90% confidence and 10% sweat and stress. For the most part, I thought I was going to do pretty okay. I had studied after all.
Sometimes studying for 10 hours doesn't get you the results you want, and that's something that is more than okay to learn. After seeing the solutions for part of the exam put up, I immediately sunk into the pit of lies that only come out during times like this. Times where I retreat back to a place of feeling so inferior to everyone else around me just because of a number on a test. Every truth that has been preached to me about how a number doesn't define me, how I can and will get over this, just flew right over my head.
Where was the confident Christina that I thought I was only an hour ago? How crazy that I can retreat back to a place of complete isolation from the truth in a matter of seconds? I proceeded to go home and to cry into the emptiness of my living room. As I was heating up dinner for my self I decided I need to have a quick chat with Jesus about what I was feeling.
"God, I don't like the way that I'm feeling right now. I don't like that I feel like a failure. I need to you to remind me of the truth that I know is there but can't find right now."
Those were actual words that I spilled out to sweet Jesus (who always handles my emotional outbursts) in my kitchen.
Now, I value my education. I enjoy learning, I love when I study for a test and get good results back. I understand that my education is a privilege, and I'm very aware of that. But sometimes, I just fail. And that is okay. At least that's what I'm learning.
After talking to Jesus and taking a few deep long breaths, I was able to settle back into the reality of my situation. Yes, I probably did not do as well as I thought I would have on this test. Yes, I could have made more time to study more material. And then I let that truth I had been asking for seep back into my heart. No, this does not mean I am any less of a student. No, this is not a reflection of who I am as a person, and no, I will not let this determine the rest of my semester.
So if you're facing a mountain of stress due to the fact that you may have not done as well as you thought on an exam, please don't lose heart.
You WILL do better, you WILL get through this rough class, and you WILL not let this define you.
