I’m sitting here in my dorm room, almost a month away from successfully completing my sophomore year of college. It’s overwhelming how quickly the time has flown by, and everyone has told me since the beginning of my college career that this would happen. I, of course, being the stubborn and headstrong individual that I am, never believed them. My future is so close, teasing me with possibility and potential, and right now, I can’t help but shy away from it. It seems as though everything around me is changing: friends from high school are moving away, starting their own families, or, in some cases, disappearing forever. Friends from college are starting careers, getting married, and beginning their adult lives. I, however, feel as though I am stagnant: unable to move in one direction or another. I have the power to decide what I want to do with my life and myself, but I think it’s that in reality that scares me more than anything. I know what I need to do, but I’m not sure if I’m ready to do it.

I want to become an adult and start my own life, but there’s something wonderful and charming about the idea of staying a 20 year-old college student forever. I may seem to be stressed out of my mind and running myself into the ground with sports, jobs, classes, and homework, but I don’t really think I would trade this life for anything. After all, I’m still on my own, but there are so many responsibilities that I still don’t really have to worry about just yet. Part of me wishes that I could just avoid those responsibilities forever. Unfortunately, I have to face the music sometime. Don’t we all? If we could stay young forever, we would all opt to do so. But this isn’t a movie, and I’m not Peter Pan. I have to face my future head-on… Even if it scares me.

Perhaps I should just focus on the excitement of the journey that I’m about to embark on. I have two more years of college, that much is true. But what about after that? What will I be doing with myself after I leave this place? I don’t even know where I’ll be living after the next two years are complete. I will be near the ocean; I know that for sure, because I cannot physically function without salt air in my lungs for an extended period of time. I need my dose of the sea, you know? Regardless, the unknown aspect of my life used to scare me, that much is true. Even when I first began writing this, I felt an uneasy nervousness inside when I thought about my future. Strangely enough, after thinking about it a little longer, I think I’ve realized that the unknown is more exciting to me than anything else.

Where will I be after graduation? I have no clue! What will I be doing? No idea! The strangest part of all of this is: I’m just excited to figure it out. Whether I like it or not, I will be deemed an actual adult in the next two years. I will be starting a life that is all my own, with no one but me to serve as a guide along the way. I will be carving out my own paths and making my own mistakes. I will be facing the unknown, walking towards the void with my head held high. After all, it’s not the destination, but the journey, which proves to be the most exciting part. Right? I know that life is going to throw a million different things my way within the next two years. I just cannot wait to embrace them with open arms and a curious mind. Bring it on, world. I’m as ready as I’ll ever be.