Facebook Official? More like... FBNo

Facebook Official? More like... FBNo

He loves me, he loves me not. He loves me because we're Facebook official, he doesn't love me because he won't call me before 2 am.......
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Time and time again, we constantly ask ourselves: 

"Are you really in a relationship if you aren't "Facebook official?" 

We all remember the middle/high school days of our seemingly rational insecurities, where we would think that if we weren't "fbo" with the guy or girl we liked, then it was all fake. Without an official status, your relationship was just a sham of love unrecognized by the cyber space community. Pre-highschool graduation, Facebook was our main outlet of social media, yet today this doesn't seem to be the case anymore.

Flash forward to 2014 and social media has skyrocketed. There are countless websites and apps that allow us to meet people and express ourselves, from strangers to former flings. Yet I can't help but ponder, why do we feel that everybody needs to know our personal business all the time? Often times I feel as though social media exists as merely a "bragging contest". For instance, rather than just enjoying a vacation, we brag about how much fun we’re having on said vacation by tweeting live updates, or posting pictures with significant others on Instagram to show how amazing our relationship is. Social media is changing our world - however if it's for the better or worse I can't be sure. 

Our ability to constantly connect to others through Facebook additionally puts strains on relationships, especially new ones. Fragile relationships that are just beginning to blossom can be tracked through Facebook. Fringing within the realm of borderline stalking, as a paranoid girl/guy, sometimes our emotions get the best of us and we can't help but hyper-analyzing EVERYTHING. We all know the situations: you meet someone, you hit it off, after a couple inebriated rounds you get their number, and from there you start "talking." The texting phase beings...however both parties are trying to play "hard to get."  Your new crush lacks instantaneous replies and your CLEAR lack of patience challenges your confidence.   

ex) “Why is he on Facebook, but won’t text me back?”

ex) “Why is she posting pictures of her and her friends downtown, but didn’t tell me she was going out?” 

With the click of a button, you can “stalk” your significant other, but is this really a healthy thing?        

Some may argue that jumping into a relationship too soon and putting a title on it (aka being Facebook official) is an awful decision. The dating culture has completely changed. Half a decade ago, becoming “Facebook Official” meant everything. But now, most people prefer not to expose their relationship status to Facebook. Has our generation become more elusive in our relationships, or are we frankly just becoming tired of being a prisoner to social media? 

If you were to scroll through your Facebook timeline right now, you would notice that not many couples expose their status to the world. It's somewhat reversing that couples believe an official title creates unnecessary pressures on their relationship.

Overall, it seems that in college, MOST people do not date seriously enough to even think about being “Facebook Official.” The norm has become “casually dating around” or “just hooking up,” - neither of which are options as a Facebook relationship status. Not to mention that an open "mingling" or "hook up" might label oneself as somewhat promiscuous. All in all, nobody wants to get their heart broken or has time with their busy schedule to date - hence they shy away from traditional dating and making things "FBO." 

While being “Facebook official” used to be popular, people are beginning to stray away from it. However, I can't help but admire those that keep their lives semi-private. It may just be me, but I can sense the beginning of a new era where it's expected to keep relationships private and for valid reasons. 

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30 Things I'd Rather Be Than 'Pretty'

Because "pretty" is so overrated.
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Nowadays, we put so much emphasis on our looks. We focus so much on the outside that we forget to really focus on what matters. I was inspired by a list that I found online of "Things I Would Rather Be Called Instead Of Pretty," so I made my own version. Here is a list of things that I would rather be than "pretty."

1. Captivating

I want one glance at me to completely steal your breath away.

2. Magnetic

I want people to feel drawn to me. I want something to be different about me that people recognize at first glance.

3. Raw

I want to be real. Vulnerable. Completely, genuinely myself.

4. Intoxicating

..and I want you addicted.

5. Humble

I want to recognize my abilities, but not be boastful or proud.

6. Exemplary

I want to stand out.

7. Loyal

I want to pride myself on sticking out the storm.

8. Fascinating

I want you to be hanging on every word I say.

9. Empathetic

I want to be able to feel your pain, so that I can help you heal.

10. Vivacious

I want to be the life of the party.

11. Reckless

I want to be crazy. Thrilling. Unpredictable. I want to keep you guessing, keep your heart pounding, and your blood rushing.

12. Philanthropic

I want to give.

13. Philosophical

I want to ask the tough questions that get you thinking about the purpose of our beating hearts.

14. Loving

When my name is spoken, I want my tenderness to come to mind.

15. Quaintrelle

I want my passion to ooze out of me.

16. Belesprit

I want to be quick. Witty. Always on my toes.

17. Conscientious

I want to always be thinking of others.

18. Passionate

...and I want people to know what my passions are.

19. Alluring

I want to be a woman who draws people in.

20. Kind

Simply put, I want to be pleasant and kind.

21. Selcouth

Even if you've known me your whole life, I want strange, yet marvelous. Rare and wondrous.

22. Pierian

From the way I move to the way I speak, I want to be poetic.

23. Esoteric

Do not mistake this. I do not want to be misunderstood. But rather I'd like to keep my circle small and close. I don't want to be an average, everyday person.

24. Authentic

I don't want anyone to ever question whether I am being genuine or telling the truth.

25. Novaturient

..about my own life. I never want to settle for good enough. Instead I always want to seek to make a positive change.

26. Observant

I want to take all of life in.

27. Peart

I want to be honestly in good spirits at all times.

28. Romantic

Sure, I want to be a little old school in this sense.

29. Elysian

I want to give you the same feeling that you get in paradise.

30. Curious

And I never want to stop searching for answers.
Cover Image Credit: Favim

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36 Hobbies To Take Up If You Want To Be The Next Best 20-Something Grandma

Pursuing something with needle and thread is a good start

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Need a new hobby? Want to emulate a grandmother? Here are some great ideas for fun things to do in your spare time to get you ready to be the best grandma in 40-50 years!

1. Knitting

2. Baking

This hobby will also come with many friends wanting to try your creations.

3. Crocheting

4. Sudoku 

You gotta keep the mind healthy.

5. Crosswords

6. Cooking

7. Thrifting

Goodwill is your go-to for fabulous finds that won't break the bank.

8. Join a book club

Whether or not you actually read the book, either way it's a good way to socialize.

9. Yard Sale-ing

Don't tell me you didn't go yard sale-ing with your grandma at least once in your childhood.

10. Napping

11. Brunching

Food and friends (and a mimosa)... what's not to love about this hobby?

12. Spades

13. Hearts

14. Gardening

Figure out if you have a green thumb earlier rather than later.

15. Sewing

Being able to fix (or even make) your own clothes seems like both a creative outlet and a practical skill.

16. Antiquing

17. Cross-Stitching

Make some wall decorations for your room!

18. Power-walking

Why normal walk when you could speed walk?

19. Reading at 64-font on your Kindle

20. Read the newspaper

There's just something peaceful and nostalgic about reading a physical newspaper...

21. Collecting

Coins, dolls, you name it.... someone probably collects it.

22. Quilting

23. Rummy

24. Giving wise advice to those younger than you

25. Get a magazine subscription

26. Write hand-written letters to friends

It's fun and there is something so meaningful about taking the time to write it out and mail it.

27. Bridge

28. Curate a bomb matching pajama collection

29. Scrapbooking

Take your memories and add a creative touch... you won't regret it.

30. Tai Chi

I'm not a regular grandma, I'm a cool grandma...

31. Flower-arranging

32. Photography

Capture the moments of the loved ones around you!

33. Plan girls' trips with friends

34. Volunteer

Find time to give back to causes that you are passionate about!

35. Watch game shows

36. Watch soap operas

All the plot points and characters may be cringy, but they are so addicting!

Consider some of these hobbies if you find yourself looking for something to fill your time. When grandma-hood comes around, you'll be ready for it. And if you already do a lot of these things, well then we might as well go ahead and affectionately call you a 20-something grandma!

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