Facebook Official? More like... FBNo

Facebook Official? More like... FBNo

He loves me, he loves me not. He loves me because we're Facebook official, he doesn't love me because he won't call me before 2 am.......
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Time and time again, we constantly ask ourselves: 

"Are you really in a relationship if you aren't "Facebook official?" 

We all remember the middle/high school days of our seemingly rational insecurities, where we would think that if we weren't "fbo" with the guy or girl we liked, then it was all fake. Without an official status, your relationship was just a sham of love unrecognized by the cyber space community. Pre-highschool graduation, Facebook was our main outlet of social media, yet today this doesn't seem to be the case anymore.

Flash forward to 2014 and social media has skyrocketed. There are countless websites and apps that allow us to meet people and express ourselves, from strangers to former flings. Yet I can't help but ponder, why do we feel that everybody needs to know our personal business all the time? Often times I feel as though social media exists as merely a "bragging contest". For instance, rather than just enjoying a vacation, we brag about how much fun we’re having on said vacation by tweeting live updates, or posting pictures with significant others on Instagram to show how amazing our relationship is. Social media is changing our world - however if it's for the better or worse I can't be sure. 

Our ability to constantly connect to others through Facebook additionally puts strains on relationships, especially new ones. Fragile relationships that are just beginning to blossom can be tracked through Facebook. Fringing within the realm of borderline stalking, as a paranoid girl/guy, sometimes our emotions get the best of us and we can't help but hyper-analyzing EVERYTHING. We all know the situations: you meet someone, you hit it off, after a couple inebriated rounds you get their number, and from there you start "talking." The texting phase beings...however both parties are trying to play "hard to get."  Your new crush lacks instantaneous replies and your CLEAR lack of patience challenges your confidence.   

ex) “Why is he on Facebook, but won’t text me back?”

ex) “Why is she posting pictures of her and her friends downtown, but didn’t tell me she was going out?” 

With the click of a button, you can “stalk” your significant other, but is this really a healthy thing?        

Some may argue that jumping into a relationship too soon and putting a title on it (aka being Facebook official) is an awful decision. The dating culture has completely changed. Half a decade ago, becoming “Facebook Official” meant everything. But now, most people prefer not to expose their relationship status to Facebook. Has our generation become more elusive in our relationships, or are we frankly just becoming tired of being a prisoner to social media? 

If you were to scroll through your Facebook timeline right now, you would notice that not many couples expose their status to the world. It's somewhat reversing that couples believe an official title creates unnecessary pressures on their relationship.

Overall, it seems that in college, MOST people do not date seriously enough to even think about being “Facebook Official.” The norm has become “casually dating around” or “just hooking up,” - neither of which are options as a Facebook relationship status. Not to mention that an open "mingling" or "hook up" might label oneself as somewhat promiscuous. All in all, nobody wants to get their heart broken or has time with their busy schedule to date - hence they shy away from traditional dating and making things "FBO." 

While being “Facebook official” used to be popular, people are beginning to stray away from it. However, I can't help but admire those that keep their lives semi-private. It may just be me, but I can sense the beginning of a new era where it's expected to keep relationships private and for valid reasons. 

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An Open Letter To My Boyfriend's Mom

A simple thank you is not enough.
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Your son and I have been dating a while now and I just wanted to thank you for everything.

Wow, where do I start? Ever since the day your son brought me into your home you have shown me nothing but kindness. I have not one negative thought about you and I am truly thankful for that. I first and foremost want to thank you for welcoming me with open arms. There are horror stories of mothers resenting their son's girlfriends and I am blessed there is no resentment or harsh feelings.

Thank you for treating me like one of your children, with so much love but knowing exactly when to tease me.

Thank you for sticking up for me when your son teases me, even though I know it’s all in good fun it's always comforting knowing you have someone by your side.

Thank you for raising a man who respects women and knows how to take responsibility of mistakes and not a boy who is immature and doesn’t take responsibility.

Thank you for always including me in family affairs, I may not be blood family but you do everything you can to make sure I feel like I am.

Thank you for letting me make memories with your family.

There is nothing I value more in this world then memories with friends and family and I am thankful you want and are willing to include me in yours. I have so much to thank you for my thoughts keep running together.

The most important thing I have to thank you for is for trusting me with your son. I know how precious and valuable he is and I won't break his heart. I will do everything I can to make him happy. This means more than you could ever imagine and I promise I will never break your trust.

The second most important thing I must thank you for is for accepting me for who I am. Never have you ever wished I looked like another girl or acted like another girl. You simply love and care for me and that’s all I could ever ask. Every person in this world is a unique different person and understanding that means a lot.

The third most important thing I must thank you is teaching me how to one day in the future treat a potential girlfriend that I may interact with as a mother. I am not a mother, but I one day plan to be. If I ever have a son it is because of how you treated me that I am able to be a humble loving mother to this new face that could one day walk into my door. How you have treated me has taught me how I should one day be in the future and I thank you for that.

This may seem all over the place but that’s how my brain gets when I try and thank you for everything you have done for me. It’s all so much and even the little things are so important so I promise my scattered thoughts are all with good intentions and not meant to bombard you. I just want to get the idea across to you that you are important and special to me and everything you do does not go unnoticed.

Sincerely,

Your Son’s Girlfriend

Cover Image Credit: Christian Images and Quotes

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It's Time For Romance Movies To Start Portraying Love And Relationships More Accurately

It's 2019, get with the times.

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Currently, on TV and in the movies, many romance movies have the same storyline. If it's on Hallmark, two people fall in love and complete some kind of mission. If it's in the movies two people date/fall in love, something causes them to break up, then they get back together and everyone lives happily ever after.

The problem is that all of these plots are seriously unrealistic.

All of these movies and TV shows just inaccurately portray how a relationship works in real life. A real relationship takes a lot of work, time, and effort. Not everything is candy canes, unicorns, and comes so easily. There are so many other factors that people have to think about.

I really got into watching these romantic type movies when I started watching PG-13 movies. I would watch them and picture all my relationships going this way. But these movies painted the wrong picture of relationships. I'm not saying my boyfriend is a bad boyfriend at all, he is wonderful! But we both have learned it takes a lot of work, time, effort, and communication. These are things very few romance movies teach us.

Also, everyone expects things from their significant others from what they see in these movies. I was one of those people, but then real life hit. There are bills, jobs, and time management that you have to consider. This doesn't mean that my boyfriend and I don't go out, but we have to choose wisely for what we do and when we do it! We have also found fun things to do at home in place of going out in order to save money.

I understand that many people like to watch these programs and enjoy them. But there needs to be a change to accurately portray a relationship. Personally, I think this is why many young people's relationships don't last - they have watched this easy relationship develop and stay in a movie and they haven't seen what it is like in real life.

So, to those who produce these types of movies and shows, it's time that you start making things more realistic.

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