The sibling you lost too soon

I know many people have lost a loved one as a child, an adolescent, or even an adult. Have you ever felt the pain of losing a loved one who was your best friend, the person you confided in, the person you were with since birth? To those of you who have lost a sibling it is tough. I have lost my little brother tragically and while everyone says it gets easier it doesn't.

Losing a sibling takes a toll on how to look at yourself and even how you look at life. Losing your younger sibling or even your older sibling really can change the way you value time, friendships, and even time with your family.

Losing someone you love can hurt. It can make you feel the absolute worst pain that you have felt. Losing them is rough. Losing them means the constant things that will remind you of your time together. Losing a sibling means everyone telling you how they are so sorry for your loss but there is nothing you can do to bring them back anymore. Losing them means the random times you will just look at a picture or hear a song that reminds you of them and you just cry. Losing them means they come to you in your dreams.

Losing a loved one has taken a toll on many. There will be days where you want to scream at the top of your lungs to express your hurt.. SO DO IT. Scream as loud as you want. You deserve to be upset. You are expected to be strong for everyone else around you but when you want to break and scream at nothing do it. It helps for just a short time.

There will be days where you want to just listen to sad music all day because it makes you feel closer to your sibling. Listen to all the sad songs you want because it is your way of coping. If these sad songs make you cry... then cry away. Listen to that song by Cole Swindell or Kenny Chesney because those songs have helped many throughout the years of losing a loved one.

Cry! Cry! Cry! You need to cry even if you have been told it has been so long just cry any way because nobody will ever know how you feel unless they have been in your place. Crying is healthy. It is okay to cry. No matter who says it isn't you do you and you cry as much as you need to for as long as you need to because you are coping with things the best you can.

There are so many things probably going through your head, I know I had a lot of thoughts. I questioned why they took such a beautiful soul out of the world so young. I questioned my beliefs. I questioned if it was my fault or if there was anything I could have done to stop what happened from happening.

The best thing to do is learn to cope. Things will never be the same. You will have that missing piece in your heart, your childhood, and your life. There will always be a gaping hole. There will be some days that will be better than other days. Birthdays are hard but get better with time. Holidays are hard because the whole family is together but there is that one person missing. The anniversary of their death is hard but just find a way to cope with things on that day. Spend time with your family. Remember all the memories with your sibling, share stories about that person. Cry if you have to, listen to those sad songs that seemingly make you cry but help you deal with the pain.

There will be times where you want to call or text your sibling whenever something happens because that is just what you are used to. No matter how much time has went by since they past it still doesn't seem like a reality to come back home just to find it just as you left it.. Empty, quiet, and lonely.

Whenever you come to a reality that things aren't the same it hurts.. I mean it hurts like hell. You will cry, you will watch videos and cry, you will look at pictures and wish things were different. But you will want to live for that person. They wouldn't want you to live in sadness for your whole life. If the roles were switched you would want them to keep your name alive you would want them to be happy in life and succeed and you would want to watch that. So do the same for them. It is easier said than done and I learn that every single day and I try and try. I still visit his accident site, I still cry, I still scream at God and hate it for what he did to my brother but that is okay! It is okay to lose it sometimes. Keep yourself together when you need to but never be afraid to break it will forever be okay because grieving is okay.

You will miss their smile, You will miss their laugh and you will miss all the little things that they did to annoy you. You will miss the best friend you have ever had and your first friend. You will miss that person at holidays because they saved you from any awkwardness at family functions. You will miss everything about them but it will get easier.

Look at life, look at it good and realize how it is too short to live in sadness. Pray to God and your loved one every night and maybe they will answer you. They are always there and it will be the little things you notice and realize that they wanted you to see that certain thing or hear that certain noise or song to make it known they are with you at all times.

Losing a sibling has been on of the hardest things I have ever dealt with in my life but it has taught me many life lessons and I am thankful to be living for my brother and trying my best to make him happy. You can not live on the what if factor because if you do it will hurt you all the time. Live for that person you lost, make them proud, and remember them every day. Keep their name and spirit alive and I wish everyone the best of luck.

-The Girl Who lost her brother