Goals in this life are often externally directed. The goal of getting an A in a class is extremely external. The goal of being whatever society deems “normal” is external, too. Some of these external goals are meaningless; some have merit. It is better to learn than to receive an A, for instance, but in academic circles, the A is still important as well. The A isn’t meaningless.
In order to earn an A, students have to take a class, go to the class, submit homework for the class, study for the class, take tests… and depending on the type of class, maybe more. An A in the class is the cumulative effect of As on each step, but each step is an achievement of its own. Each has merit. Each step matters.
A B may be a lower grade than an A, but it’s still an achievement. Students with Bs know more than students who never submitted the assignment or never took the class at all. If the goal is to learn, any grade is better than never having tried.
Assuming students have made the decision to take a class in order to learn a subject, there are still a plethora of reasons why those students may receive Bs on an assignment or the class rather than As. So what? If learning was the goal, those B students are on the right track. Students learn more every time they work on assignments. Some students with Bs learn more than those with As—the grade is only a small part of the picture. Those students with Bs may not have reached the externalized goal of the highest grades, but they learned.
Growth is more important than goals.
When I say that, do not assume that I think goals are meaningless. I don’t. The goals, externally set or not, may very well matter. They just aren’t everything.
Maybe you took on a hard class and couldn’t get the A you wanted. Maybe you got a B, or a C… maybe you even failed.
Maybe you have a mental disorder and no matter how hard you try, you still don’t meet whatever standard society has set as “normal.”
Not meeting those goals can make life more difficult. But please, if you’re so focused on the goal that you’re frustrated with yourself and your surroundings because it feels like you’ll never be enough, please turn around, because you have come so far.
The rules of existence aren’t fair. Some people have advantages while others have disadvantages. If you have a disadvantage and you’re struggling, it is still important that you tried. You are farther than you’d be if you hadn’t. You may not have that A, but you know more about the course material than when you started. You may not be “normal,” but if you’re closer to getting to a place where you can lead a good life, you’ve already succeeded.
There will always be farther to go, but we can always keep moving.
Your movement is important, even if you haven’t reached your goal. Even if you’re discouraged. Even if external forces are telling you that because you haven’t reached the goal, you’ve failed.
Life isn’t binary like that. Life is fluid. So are you. You are so strong, and you are so enough to stand wherever you’re at and choose your next move.
