Identifying as one of the most erased sexual identities is hard. When I tell most people that I am pansexual, they respond with, "What is that?" or something of the like. Some days I'm excited to explain. Other days it's just exhausting. Half the time I don't even bring it up unless I'm comfortable with the person.
I try to explain pansexuality as very similar to bisexuality, but also completely different. I am attracted to a person because I'm attracted to a person, regardless of gender, sexual identity, race, etc. I don't see gender first, I see the person. I see bisexuality as the ability to be attracted to both genders, which I do have, but I feel like pansexuality fits me better.
No, it's not just based on the personality and soul of a person. Yes, those traits are a factor, but I also just appreciate how attractive someone is in general. I do say randomly to friends, "Look at the guy with the really nice hair" or "That girl has a nice butt." You know the type of friend bonding where you appreciate attractive people. I just point out more than one gender. I also go to see movies just because an actor or actress is attractive. Recently, I saw "Me Before You" because I was in the mood to cry, and because both Emilia Clarke and Sam Claflin are really attractive to me, so seeing them in a movie together would be a plus.
I don't really have a type. I'm attracted to whoever I'm attracted to, and that has been a huge spectrum. That doesn't mean I'm attracted to everyone though (nor am I attracted to kitchen-ware). Some people seem to take pansexuality as just that: being attracted to anyone and everyone. It's not just that. It's about being attracted to who makes you feel that way. Not everyone does that.
Some people have asked me, "What gender do you prefer?" I see this as one of the main differences between pansexuality and bisexuality. Bisexuality tends to have a preference for one over the other, i.e., 90 percent Female, 10 percent male or 60 percent female, 40 percent male. Pansexuality doesn't have a preference. It's just whomever you're attracted to.
I do know that being pansexual is something I'm going to have to explain my entire life. It is one of the more looked over identities, like bisexuality and asexuality. I know that I will have to deal with being invisible, but I'm hoping future generations of pansexuals and other identities won't have to be. That it will be as easily recognizable as gay or straight.
I know that this is my own personal definition and others may have different personal opinions. Some people may say I'm bisexual, but I feel pansexual fits me more. I am open to all opinions on what people would like to identify as, this is just why I feel I identify as pansexual. I would love to hear others' personal definitions, and to see how others see the pan-world. We are part of the LGBTQ community (even if we don't have a letter) and we are just as valid as anyone else. We just have to explain ourselves more.
