I am legally disabled. In high school, I had a 504 plan, I was allowed to write all my exam essays on a laptop and got free driver’s ed. In non-medical circles, my ‘condition’ is called an invisible disability, which means that to the general population, I look totally fine and physically able.
Having a physical disability that no one can see is incredibly frustrating. Apart from some joint-supporting braces and the occasional limp, I look like a normal 20-year-old woman, when in reality I have the body of a senior citizen.
One thing I am very bad at is describing my disability. I have multiple conditions or ‘diagnoses’, and simply listing them will do me no good. Telling someone that I have knee pain due to Patellofemoral syndrome or that I’m constantly at risk for joint dislocation because of Joint Hypermobility syndrome will usually just give me this look from whoever I’m talking to:
So usually I skip the labels and try to give descriptions and examples.
Actually, usually I just don’t talk about it (seriously, talking is hard).
If you’re a frequenter of the website Tumblr, you’ll know that the TV show "Supernatural" has a .GIF for everything. So I took that as a challenge to see if "Supernatural" had a .GIF to explain my disability.
When your hip audibly snaps back in place and your friends think something just broke.
When you attempt to climb three flights of stairs to get to class.
When you ran out of your pain meds yesterday and forgot to refill your stash before you left for the day.
When you’re minding your own business and your neuropathic pain comes out of nowhere.
When I’m out in public with my friends and I have to start stretching or put my hip back in place.
When your doctor says to stop dancing because your body needs rest.
When you think about your younger self before your symptoms became noticeable.
When I open up to a friend about all my symptoms.
When your friends doubt your abnormal flexibility.
When I met my current rheumatologist.
When everyone has a holistic "cure" to suggest.
When you’re trying to hide that fact that your pain kept you up until three a.m. and the pain still hasn’t gone away completely.
When you have to list your medical conditions and/or prescription medications.
When your elbow stiffens up and for a second you’re convinced it’ll never straighten again.
When it turns out that you’re resistant to local anesthetics.
When someone says your disorder is made up and that you’re just a hypochondriac.
When you're walking into the doctor's office and getting ready to hate life for the rest of the day.
When you meet new doctors/nurses/medical professionals and have to explain your body.
When your brain and body just refuse to communicate.
When another student gets upset that you have testing accommodations.
When it’s two a.m. and your joint pain is keeping you up.
When your chronic fatigue hits you like a brick in your first class of the day.
When you’re in the process of being diagnosed, and have already been mislabeled three times by the doctors whom you think are supposed to know everything.
When the people sitting near you in class hear you ankles click or knees pop.
The first time your roommate heard your early morning joint pops.
When your roommate walks in on you napping.
And finally, how my body feels after a long day.
