Heartbreak is one of the hardest things that a person has to go through. It is something that many view as emotionally traumatizing, and it is something that I want to experience. This sounds weird when I put it out into words, but it is nothing but a mere curiosity.
As a kid, I always wanted to experience the things that people hated because I was so curious as to what it was that they hated about it. I couldn’t wait to get braces, oddly enough. Eventually, of course, I couldn’t wait to get those braces off. Every time I went to the eye doctor I hoped that she would tell me that I needed glasses, something the kids in my classes always complained about having. It was always the experience that made the difference in my eyes.
I can’t say that I fully understand why heartbreak is something that is so intriguing to me. Maybe it is what leads up to the heartbreak that I truly desire. To love someone so much that you can’t bare to imagine a life without them. To care for someone on such a deep and intimate level that the comfort of their constant presence has become a piece of you. I want to know what it’s like to lose that piece.
Maybe it’s because I want to learn the value of a relationship. Perhaps it’s because getting through a heartbreak creates a new level strength and independence that is hard to attain any other way. The reality is, I won’t know my reasoning behind it until it is something that I experience.
I want to clarify something. I don’t want to be hurt, and I don’t want to hurt others. Although, that is something that is inevitable. It’s not the tears that I want to experience, it’s the lesson I want to learn. Love is amongst some of the strongest emotions that one can feel. I can’t say that I have been in love before, and that’s okay. It doesn’t need to happen now, and it doesn’t need to happen soon. Until the day I experience heartbreak, I will never fully understand the desire and drive behind the curiosity. It’s strange and confusing, but as I mentioned, it’s a mere curiosity that I cannot wait to understand.