We've all had a friend who could never reciprocate the relationship in the way we hoped they would. We've all dealt with a guy, or a girl, who couldn't give us what we need. I've dealt with some really shitty people, doing some really shitty things. We all have. If someone comes to mind, bingo! You've been disappointed, you've been let down. Sure, we could turn the situation around and blame it on them.
"Why is she so selfish?" "Why is his ego so big?" "Why can they not see what they're doing?"
That's where we fall short. We blame others for them failing to meet OUR expectations. We put it on them, and we rack our brain trying to find a reason why we weren't good enough. Expectations are everything. And sometimes, our expectations are quite simply just too high – for that person. How you might treat someone, how you view relationships and what one should give and return, it's all subjective. We all have different morals, different values, different ideals we hold for all the relationships in our life.
Truth be told, there's going to be those people that will never give you what you need. There's going to be people that root for you when you're high, but leave you when you're low. There's going to be people that make you feel on top of the world, and people that make you feel like you're literally nothing. What can we do?
Re-evaluate our expectations.
This person, that you desperately want in your life, well, you might find out that they're sometimes with you, but not truly for you. You can't change people. You can't expect something from someone that just isn't capable of giving you what you need in a relationship. You have to either realize that a) your expectations are too high for this person or b) move on.
You should never settle. I'm not saying that. But, everyone is different. And we have to understand that. People are raised differently, people get along differently, hell, people see things differently. Realizing that, and adjusting to that, is the best thing you can do for yourself in a situation where you feel like you're constantly giving what you don't receive in return.
"It's not you, it's me."
As cliche as it is, we've heard it all before in various versions. As cliche as it sounds, it's TRUE. It's not you. It's them. It's them having completely different standards for a relationship. It's them having different expectations for themselves, and for you. This is why communication is SO important. I can't stress it enough. Nothing is going to come out of bottled emotions. So, say the damn thing. Text the damn guy. Just do it. You have nothing to lose! If they're worth it, they'll respond. And if they're not, they never were going to be.
At the end of the day, we're all (well, for the most part) just trying to be better people and live better lives. So, why not tell someone when something bothers you. Why not take it when someone tells you that YOU did something that bothers them. It's a learning experience, it's a chance for growth. You either a) find out how to make that relationship better or once again, b) move on. Simple as that.
There's no room in your life for people that don't match what you want out of them. And, even if there is, at least you'll know what to expect from them, and be able to accept that.
Expectations? They. Are. Everything.
Don't waste your time making assumptions, coming up with theories in your head as to why the person is the way they are, what you did to make them behave that way.
That's on them.
