In today’s culture, one of our main thought processes concerns being “comfortable with who you are.” The idea of us being complacent with our figures, situations, and our character has dominated our conversations and social media posts. I do agree that we shouldn’t let the current state of these things affect us poorly, but it is also important to grow as individuals. As interpersonal beings, we are blessed with friends that can keep us accountable to being the best we can be. Together, we can use these friendships to not only post selfies with, but also to expect more from each other and achieve greater things.
For our society to be efficient, accountability must be, as Bane said, “gratefully accepted!” Unfortunately, when someone gives us constructive criticism, it is not met with the greatest attitude. An offense may be taken, self-worth left in ruin, and friendships may be severed. But do we really want our friends to be afraid to help us because of our poor reactions? Do we really want our friends to coddle us with lies just because it makes us feel good at that immediate point in time?
Hopefully, the answer to these questions is “NO!” If a goal of yours is to live a healthier lifestyle or manage money wisely, your friends should keep you accountable when you bring home fast food. If a goal of yours is to improve your grades, a great friend will tell you when you are spending too much time on Netflix or at the bar. If you make a remark or a post that goes against your values and beliefs, awesome friends will let you know that you have strayed. When I was a freshman, I posted a couple things on social media that weren't consistent with my core values. Thankfully, I had two friends that confronted me about each matter. They didn't put me down or get upset with me. Instead, they helped me address my concerns in a positive manner. They changed my approach to many issues and my life. The growth of my character was extremely valuable, and my friendships with those guys could never fail. I have had a multitude of different things that induced constructive criticism from my friends, and will continue to have such circumstances. We humans are remarkably prone to making mistakes, but thank goodness we have those friends that can help us out.
Now before you start calling people out left and right, make sure that you do so from a place of trust. Gaining someone’s trust is a deliberate process. It requires active listening, non-judgmental attitudes, and genuine care for that person. This allows us to open up and be honest with each other. You most likely have already developed trust with several people, as it is the basis of all friendships. However, it is a lifelong process. Trust can always be cultivated in old friendships and in the formation of new ones. This way we can bear each other’s burdens and empathize with a heart of shared understanding. Dietrich Bonhoeffer’s book, “Life Together,” goes into how to explore the depths of our communities and expect more of each other.
Great catalysts to these friendships are community groups. Community groups are vital when it comes to our growth. These groups provide time to reflect on our goals, and get us consistently motivated in new ways. This is a concept that isn’t implemented into a lot of our lives, but it is a life changer. If you aren’t a part of a community group yet, you are missing out. Through various ministries, I have been pushed to make the most of my relationship with Christ. Through Greek Life, I am involved with different groups that meet regularly to push us toward academic and career achievements. All of us have different talents and interests, and having a group tailored to our needs can truly unlock our potential.
Personal accountability is essential to one’s growth, but having others expect the best from you is just as great of a blessing. Develop trust with those around you, and expand that circle of influence. Be sure to make the most of that trust by assisting each in attaining your goals and values.
