1. My dog ate my homework. Or my cat. Or my chinchilla.

It's a classic with a little twist, works like a charm!

2. My roommate threw up in my bed and I was too emotionally unstable to finish the paper.

This is a real thing and any professor should respect your mental state.

3. The bus driver had a spontaneous heart attack and drove off the road.

A little morbid, but desperate times...

4. My mom called and said my estranged uncle needed my love.

You do what you can to go above and beyond for my family members.

5. Leonardo DiCaprio walked into my apartment and demanded my attention as he practiced his Oscar acceptance speech.

You can't be expected to say no to such a specimen.

6. I slipped on an olive jar and broke both legs.

Damn olive jars just chillin around campus.

7. McSteamy was my doctor in the hospital. So I had to deal with that.

k.

8. I read the wrong due date, even though it was written right there...

Tisk, tisk.

9. I won the Powerball and passed out for a few minutes, therefore missing the deadline.

This is questionable because your professor might demand compensation for excusing you.

11. I was so engrossed in the novel you assigned that I just couldn't take a break.

No shame in being a brown-noser (with a hidden agenda). Teacher's love that.

12. My washing machine exploded and flooded my apartment. But I was still going to come to class until I accidentally burned my friend's house down. And even still, I was on my way when I lost my pen. That was all I could handle.

You need to go above and beyond, this shows your dedication and hard work.

13. In solidarity with my fish Bigby, I attempted to replicate a life-size fishbowl in the hopes of understanding who he truly is.

Everyone has a soft spot for fish.

14. My friend told me that the zombie apocalypse had arrived so I was preparing my bunker.

You can never be too careful when it comes to dying. Offer to share your bomb-a** shelter with him/her when this inevitably becomes a reality.

15. I forgot this assignment existed.

Sometimes honesty is the best policy.

Good luck to you!