Love is probably the most misunderstood emotion. The reason behind it is probably that we, as people who are busy paying attention to other emotions so much, usually delude ourselves into believing that admiring something is equivalent to loving it. When in fact that is entirely incorrect. There was a time, when I thought that I knew what love was when actually I had no clue as to what love was comprised of.
Among all the fantastic things my exchange experience taught me, I guess the best thing I learned was the true meaning of love.
If I remember correctly, it was May 12th, 2013. I was at my friends' place and it was Mother's Day. My friends, Rick and Tammy, who are now grandparents to a beautiful angel, Lyli, were helping us spend our last days in the United States in the best and most fun ways possible. So we had Wisconsin's famous cheese with some crackers as well as some good homemade wine. And there I was with Peter, the love of my life, and my best friend Raina, trying to sing karaoke. Even though I don't remember everything, I will never forget how I felt when Rick sang a song for his beloved wife Tammy telling her how she is a wonderful mom to their kids and how he is so lucky to have her in his life.
I will probably never forget that particular moment because it made me realize that love isn't just spending time with someone. Love is making the most of the time that you get to spend with someone you admire. I have seen couples who have spent more than 60 years together who have no idea what love is, and I have seen true, unadulterated love between two people who have not had a lot of time to spend together.
Love is making the other person feel as if they are the most attractive person in the world both inside and out even if they are in their pajamas with their hair in a messy bun, their mouths full of munchies laying lazily on a couch with food crumbs on their clothes. Anyone would admire a guy in a fancy suit or a girl in a pretty dress, it takes love to admire a person otherwise. Love isn't expensive gifts, fancy dinners, or grand anniversary celebrations. Love is surprising her with warm Ramen and iced tea when she is trying to pull an all-nighter before a final exam. Love is when you surprise her by doing laundry and folding her clothes. Love is walking in the rain in freezing weather to her favorite Mexican restaurant. Love is wearing the coin that she gave you as a necklace and never taking it off. Love is singing lullabies on the phone to help her fall asleep when she is stressed. Love is watching her favorite movies with her, no matter how many princesses there are in it.
Love is admiring the other person with all her flaws. Love is about accepting them the way they are and not trying to change them. Love is making them feel confident, making them fall in love with themselves. Love is giving the other person your coat and freezing just to help the person you love stay warm. Love is making the other person laugh so hard that they can't even speak. Love is doing the craziest things possible with them, without judgement from either side. Love is not being possessive. Love is setting the other person free, letting them fly, and trusting them more than you trust yourself. Love is not doubting the intentions of the other person. No matter how flawed their actions are, a lover always trusts their beloved's intentions. Love is equivalent to worshiping. The worshiper blindly trusts the one they worship.
A common misunderstanding is that love stays forever and if it doesn't stay forever, it is not love. When in fact, love can only just be there for one day, one hour, a week, or even a lifetime. Love doesn't come with a guarantee of time but it does come with the guarantee of quality, happiness, and glee. If it only comes with pain and despair, it is not love. It's poison disguised as love.
A wise person looks beneath the surface and to be able to do that one needs to let themselves experience what this world has to offer. Failing, falling, being disappointed is what will make one understand the essence of true love. Allow yourself to do that and to love immensely.
