Young love can be infinite. Or it can be sudden and burning fast but blown out quick. My young love will be forever. I am not claiming that it is because we are still together or that we still love each other like we did five years ago, but because what we had was something I couldn’t give up. The connection we had was something I refused to lose. When you break up with your boyfriend, what tells you that you are supposed to move on and never speak again? Is there a guidebook you open that dictates where the relationship goes once you cut ties? What if he was your best support system? Or the person you could call for a funny story or a good time? There is no reason we should block out that one person we used to care so much about.
The rules to breaking up seem simple. Ignore the calls and urges to communicate. Go out with your friends and put on a brave face. Make sure that he knows you are better without him. But maybe what some people miss is not the love, but the friend. A relationship is more than just romance and intimacy. It is conversation and the chance to have fun with someone other than your girlfriends. It’s someone you can share your world with. I was able to do that. I learned so much about myself from my first boyfriend. He taught me how to not be afraid and seize the opportunities that life is going to throw me. I grew up because of him. I was never going to lose what I had been taught just because of a break-up. When we broke up I knew right then that we needed to reinvent the rules of the break up because what we had created was more than just a first love, it was an everlasting friendship. I refused to call him my ex. An “ex” is someone you excommunicate from your life; someone who can no longer make in influence in who you chose to be. I didn’t want to lose that. I held on and so did he.
People immediately think that once the break up happens you should leave that person behind. I disagree. A real friendship could come out of that break-up. Reinventing the rules and keeping him in your life can change the game entirely and even teach you maturity for future relationships. We trust our boyfriends with our secrets and our truths, but just because the intimacy and maybe the love is gone the respect you have for each other is still intact. Give yourself a chance to be friends with the man you loved so much because keeping his presence in your life may be the best decision you could ever make.
