The making of a friendship between girls is a slow and delicate process, tested by many different qualifications. It doesn't take just anyone to be your best friend, and it is so important that each of the ten phases are taken with deep evaluation as a stranger evolves into your new best friend.
1. Girl Crush.
It always starts as a girl crush. You can't get over how cool she is. How does she manage to always have flawless hair? And how can she be that funny? After first noticing her, you begin to see the potential in her and in your future together. Could this be your new best friend? Mere curiosity slowly morphs into a slight obsession.
2. Cyber stalking.
Full commitment to the obsession comes with, of course, cyber stalking. Facebook, Instagram, Twitter (and if you're really wanting to take it to the next level, MySpace) are all tools to fully understanding your new best friend. This is a very dangerous phase, though, because a small slip up (a like on an Instagram from 84 weeks ago or, even worse, acknowledging something you learned about her through social media, not through conversation) could be disastrous. No, all cyber stalking must be kept a secret.
3. Dressing to impress.
The first time you hang out with your potential BFF is essential. You have to look cute and prove you have style, but you never want to look like you're trying too hard; you can't lead her to believe she's out of your friend-league. Several factors must be taken into consideration:
1. Will she be dressed up too, or will the everyday homeless look be acceptable?
2. Is makeup really necessary?
3. Will actually brushing your hair look like you're trying too hard?
4. Is this a casual cute or a comfy cute situation?
4. 20 questions.
This is probably my personal favorite stage of getting to know the new BFF -- learning all the details, the history, and the similarities. "Oh, my god, no way, me too!" is commonly heard during this phase as well as "That's seriously so cool." Leave no room for curiosity; don't be afraid to get to know all the details of her life!
5. Learning each other's insecurities.
Once you know all the basics about each other, it's time to open up about your insecurities. This is the prerequisite stage to having a heart-to-heart. If your new friend handles this well, she will probably handle your deep side well too. This is another fragile stage because your insecurity needs to be just as deep and honest as hers. Learn from Kady, making up an insecurity on the spot will not suffice.
6. Getting comfortable enough to be yourself.
The no-judgement phase is glorious because you finally get to relax a little. Your new friend knows your insecurities, knows the details of your life, and now, you get to let your guard down a little more. Bluntness and no filter are finally acceptable. Baggy t-shirts and sweatpants have entered center stage.
7. The essential heart-to-heart.
The essential heart-to-heart can sneak up on you sometimes. Your new best friend could easily show up at your door one day, ready for you to drop everything so she can pour her heart out to you. Listen carefully; this is a hard thing for her to do and will reveal the best parts of her heart. After all, what is a best girl friend without her being there for your hardest and weakest moments?
8. Knowing exactly how to cheer up each other.
Once you've listened, it's essential that you are ready to cheer her up. This looks different for every friendship-- it could be Taco Bell, making her laugh, giving her advice, or sharing a similar story. Whatever it is, you'll know exactly what to do.
9. Meeting the family
Meeting the family is a delicate time. After all, mother knows best, and if your parents judge a poor character in her, then chances are the friendship won't last very long. This is the final test. She needs to fit right in like she's your long lost sister.
10. Finally part of the group.
At last, full acceptance into the group! Finally you have a buddy to eat Torchy's queso with you, to tell you if something doesn't fit right, to listen to your fears and hopes, to celebrate with you, and to cry with you. Despite the weirdness that girl friends start out as, a true girl best friend is priceless.
