Harry Potter hype is the most real hype there is, and no hype was bigger than the "Cursed Child" hype. As soon as J.K. announced that she was not only penning the script for November's "Fantastic Beasts," but also planning a full-length play about Harry Potter's children complete with an adapted script in book form, the world exploded. Or at least my world did.
Harry Potter has been a huge part of my childhood, along with the childhoods of so many others in my generation. I grew up reading these books, dreaming of a school called Hogwarts where kids just like me (although arguably more British than me) went to learn magic. My childhood play dates and sleepovers were full of robes, wands, and enthusiastic spells shouted into the air at friends. Harry, Ron and Hermione were my best friends and biggest idols. I waited every year for my acceptance letter to come, to be whisked away to this magical world that felt so much like home. The letter never came, and I moved on. I buried myself in the books and movies over and over again, catching every anniversary, new release and ABC Family "Harry Potter Weekend." J.K. Rowling and her beautiful world of magic, bravery and Whomping Willows provided a home for an awkward, shy kid like me. These stories and characters helped shape me into who I am today, and still have a huge influence on my life, and then they stopped.
Now, nine years later, I finally felt like I was going to get that magical feeling again. I, like every other Harry Potter fan I knew, was anxiously awaiting a new installment in this series that had such a huge impact on me and has continued to instill that feeling of childhood wonder on me. What I got instead was a sloppy, ridiculous play about characters who simply aren't the friends I grew up with. I'm not usually one to complain about new material, especially from such a well-loved series, but I have a few bones to pick with J.K. Rowling, Jack Thorne and Paul Tiffany. This next section is going to get spoiler-heavy so please steer clear if you have yet to read "The Cursed Child" and intend on reading or seeing it.
My first complaint about this story is the plot. The plot of this story is basically a collage of half-baked fanfiction ideas rolled together into one heaving mess of inconsistencies and stupid decisions. It really feels like the authors just watched a few of the movies, got on fanfiction.net and searched for the most popular plotlines concerning Harry Potter's youngest child, Albus Severus Potter. The entire plot revolves around time turners, which are a very hot topic in the Potter community because of their lack of appearance in the original books and movies. People felt that they weren't utilized and many, many fans over the years have written stories in the universe where time turners are either used to alter the events of the original series, or to act as a quick fix in any situation.
The use of time turners threw characters into ridiculous situations, and straight up altered the original story. Of course, they repaired the timeline, but it just bugged me that the most original story they could come up with was to literally travel back in time and re-tell a story we already know, then mess with that well-known story. The plot was the weakest of the weak, and it showed in both predictability and utterly dumb plot twists. Like really, they actually wrote a Harry Potter story where Voldemort had a secret child. They actually pulled the most fanfiction rip-off, soap opera-esque plot device they could out of their butts and put it to paper. It is essentially canon that Voldemort and Bellatrix had a daughter now, and it's completely frustrating to think about. Also, there is an entire scene in this book where Hermione's nephew manages to convince her that he's her husband (and not her nephew disguised by polyjuice potion) by kissing her over and over again. If the authors had been able to come up with a better plot that left the original stories behind in favor of a new approach, maybe I could have forgiven a few characterization mistakes. However, as the characterization is terrible and this is a rant, I'll have to call them out for it.
Basically, every character that you know and love is a shell of their actual selves in this story. While a small portion of that can be attributed to the different writing formats (playwriting versus narrative), most of it is just bad writing. Harry is a run down, bitter employee and a lackluster father. I don't believe that he became that, his character development simply doesn't make sense. I simply don't believe that Harry Potter, the man who spent most of his childhood alone and knows the true value of friendship, would cut off his son from his only friend. Hermione's entire personality revolves around following rules unless not following the rules benefits her or the ministry. Ron, don't even get me started on Ron. Apparently, someone mixed up Ron and George, and interpreted the younger brother as boring comic relief who is really bad at pranks. The characters are just simply not there. They have the same names and the same appearance, but the transition from them as they were in the last book to them in this play is just not plausible.
In summary, "The Cursed Child" was a disappointment to me and a frustrating addition to the Harry Potter world. Although it was nice to revisit a world that's so close to my heart, the plot was completely weak and the characters were empty shells of themselves. I seriously hope that "Fantastic Beasts" is good, because I can't deal with any more lackluster sequels for the sole purpose of making more money off a popular name
