Oh, the life of a lowly sales associate. Doomed to clean up after messy adults and misbehaved kids. But seriously, life as a sales associate can be hard. Really hard. Customers don’t only want you to be their friendly sales associate. They want you to juggle a number of other jobs, as well. Jobs that you aren’t getting paid to do. So just in case, as a customer, you’ve forgotten, here are some of the things your sales associate is NOT required to be.

First, we’re not your maid. We don’t walk around sweeping a feather duster over everything you destroy and it magically cleans itself. Yes, it is my job to keep the store neat and tidy—or as my employer likes to call it, “shop-able." However, that does not mean that it is your job as the customer to completely demolish the store. While I don’t expect any customer to fold a shirt exactly how it was (because this isn’t a perfect world) it would be nice if the neatly folded t-shirts didn’t end up in an unrecognizable pile of mush.

Also, please don’t expect us to be a magician. We can only do so much. Contrary to what most people think, we sales associates do not have the power to magically change the price to one you find more favorable. (And no, the "Well, I guess it's free" joke when something is not ringing up isn't funny.) We cannot magically pull a sold out size out of a hat. Believe it or not, we don’t choose the prices. Another thing to remember is that sales signs are not invisible; if it was on sale, it would be marked. But thanks for asking for the billionth time.

Read my lips: we are not your personal therapists. I’m sorry that you had a bad day, I’m sorry your boyfriend broke up with you, and I’m sorry your kids hate the clothes you bring home every time you go shopping for them. But “therapist” is listed nowhere in my job description. (Although I sometimes feel like I need a therapist when I leave work.) Also, when the line behind you is stretching so far you can’t even see the end of it, it’s probably time to wrap up your life story.

No, I cannot get you anything for free. Or marked down. Yes, I do get an employee discount. No, it’s not for you to use. Don’t pretend that we’re besties in an attempt to get discounted stuff. I work for it, I earned it. You didn’t. Simple.

Lastly, please remember that being a sales associate does not make me your inferior. Working in retail does not make me less of a person. It doesn’t mean I’m stupid. It doesn’t mean I’m incompetent. In fact, it means I can handle a ton of things at once, including taking crap from rude people and somehow finding the strength not to react (the hardest part of the job). Being a sales associate does not automatically lower my social status. I am not a maid, or a therapist, or an insider for free stuff. I can do most things that you as a customer may need, but please remember I can’t do it all. And to all my sales associates in the world, stay strong, and may the odds be ever in your favor.