You're 17. You've fallen in love. Love at 17? It may seem strange, but life has a funny way of disregarding your age in regards to its plans for you. Someone new has moved to your school. That someone new corrected everything that was broken and eased your busy mind. Something felt like home, it felt free, it made sense. It made sense in all of the ways that made no sense. There was comfort in the confusion, in the way that everything you had thought you wanted, suddenly wasn't what you needed. I found what I needed in him.

I found myself happy. Happy in a way that I was free. I was difficult and stubborn. But my heart was with someone whether I accepted or fought it. We spent the next four months in another place. A place I'd only just discovered. A place where I could speak about anything. A place where no dream was too large. A place where creativity was embraced. A place where I began to discover myself. A place where I learned how to be truly happy. I'll never forget when he taught me that being myself was enough. We were in ecstasy. It was ecstasy until it wasn't... four months later.

I'll never forget hearing the words, "I'm just here to make your life easier." Four months later my life took a turn. I found myself barely conscious on the bathroom floor at school. The next three months were spent in and out of the neurology intensive care unit at the University of Pittsburgh Medical Center. I could no longer speak and I could no longer walk. I couldn't shower, I could barely eat. I couldn't stand light, sound, or touch. I lost my memory. Status Migrainosus was the final diagnosis. The perfect storm.

All I could do was think and murmur a few jumbled up words that seldom made sense. I often sat and thought how unfair it is that someone so good is stuck with me. I had turned into a skeleton of who I had been. But he spent three months by my side. I fought for him. I can never express my gratitude toward someone with such unconditional love in their heart. A love that visited me every week, a love that kept me up to date with school, a love that loved me when my hair was in knots and my face was red and wet with tears, a love that wrote letters to me when he couldn't be with me, a love that left prom early with me because I was too sick to stand, a love that walked me on stage to receive my diploma because I could not walk without assistance. He wanted to make my life better. And he did.

After three months of absolute physical hell, he left for college. I felt naked and alone. The months that followed were extremely rocky. Immaturity seeped through our pores. I was away from home, struggling to attend college in my debilitated state. I was a hermit. While I had nothing, he had the world at his feet. I was coping with my new normal while he was enjoying everything college had to offer. We struggled for the next two years until we fell apart. I’ll never forget our sloppy breakup. It was filled with tears and passion and anger. He said he was there to make my life easier and now that he was no longer doing that, it was time to go our separate ways. That resonated with me.

In the year since the breakup, I’ve come to understand that I will always love him and I will forever be thankful for him. I couldn’t have asked for a better support system or for better motivation. I owe him. I owe him for keeping me sane. A boy from Germany saved my life. He taught me how to live and he picked me up when I fell down. Because of this, I believe people are put into our life. And I believe these people are our soul mates. Soul mate does not mean in your life forever, rather forever in your heart. I believe he was put into my life to help me as I needed him and he left me when I found my feet.

Things may not make sense. They may not make sense when you wake up in the ICU, they may not make sense when your heart’s shattered because you’ve broken up with someone you love. But not everything is meant to make sense. A year later, my heart is still filled with love for him. And three years later, I am thankful for the sobering experience that I went through with my health. Be thankful for the love in your life and be understanding of those who leave. It's okay to hate the boy who broke your heart and it's okay to hate the world for tearing you down. But you are not given anything you don't need. Breathe, relax, reflect. Soul mates, angels, unconditional love… they’re all real. My story is proof of that.