My Anxiety Tricks Me Into Believing Everyone Hates Me
Start writing a post
Health and Wellness

I Believe Everyone Hates Me Thanks To My Anxiety

My anxiety has tricked me into believing it's all going to go bad, and it will be all my fault.

645
I Believe Everyone Hates Me Thanks To My Anxiety

I always knew I had anxiety. I use to practice my introduction to myself on the first day of school, and sometimes hesitate to raise my hand in case I was wrong and people would make fun of me. I have definitely made great improvements in taking more risks and allowing myself to be more present at the moment than regretting I didn't say something when I had the chance.

However, my anxiety has seemed to manifest into something else know that I'm in college.

My high school experienced sucked. I got caught up in petty drama like most high school girls, and frankly, I was just trying to get through that chapter of my life. I tried just to be as friendly as possible, but I know I let people walk all over me. Since freshman year of high school, I always knew I was meant to be somewhere else, so I worked hard to get to where I am now. I mean, I live in North Philadelphia and attend a great university.

Of course, the transition from high school to college wasn't the easiest. I contemplated if I should transfer back home because I did miss the very little interaction I had with people my own age. I thought I took too big of a risk because only four people moved out of Western PA, and I had my own former classmates telling me that, "oh, you'll end up transferring back home because you'll hate it" or some variation of, "you're a New Castle kid, and New Castle kids stay in New Castle."

I did work to find a way to make Temple University work for me. I ended up dropping from an e-board position of a student org that I didn't fully believe in, and instead went out for formal recruitment for Greek life. Since then, I have gained friends who truly treat me the way a friend should rather than being used. I felt a great improvement in my mental health because I was surrounded by so many positive, energetic people. I never envisioned myself in a sorority, but it proved to be the best decision for me.

And since then, my life has only continued to get better. I finally got knee surgery for my torn ACL, became the editor in chief for my Odyssey community, and now living with roommates who are pretty awesome. I know it's only getting better from here, or at least I have that mentality on my good days.

When my anxiety kicks in, however, I forget all of that. High school for me was a whole chapter filled with so many bad memories with only a handful of good ones. I dreaded waking up every morning because I, honestly, hated most of the people I went to school with. I was miserable, and it seemed one bad thing was happening after the next.

My anxiety has tricked me into believing it's all going to go bad, and it will be all my fault. I overanalyze the interactions I have with people because I become convinced people either feel sorry for me or just hate me. I know I had people in my life who want me around, but I begin to question everything.

I've thought about why I decided to come to Temple University, and really if it's the best fit for me.

I begin to question why I received a bid from my sorority because I sometimes feel like I don't fit in at all.

I also believe all my friends hate me or just annoyed by me, and don't know how to get rid of me.

However, I know it's just my anxiety. I still have bad days, but it isn't like in high school where I seemed miserable during the week.

My anxiety has just gotten the better of me recently, and I know I can overcome it.

Report this Content
This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.
Student Life

Waitlisted for a College Class? Here's What to Do!

Dealing with the inevitable realities of college life.

58678
college students waiting in a long line in the hallway
StableDiffusion

Course registration at college can be a big hassle and is almost never talked about. Classes you want to take fill up before you get a chance to register. You might change your mind about a class you want to take and must struggle to find another class to fit in the same time period. You also have to make sure no classes clash by time. Like I said, it's a big hassle.

This semester, I was waitlisted for two classes. Most people in this situation, especially first years, freak out because they don't know what to do. Here is what you should do when this happens.

Keep Reading...Show less
a man and a woman sitting on the beach in front of the sunset

Whether you met your new love interest online, through mutual friends, or another way entirely, you'll definitely want to know what you're getting into. I mean, really, what's the point in entering a relationship with someone if you don't know whether or not you're compatible on a very basic level?

Consider these 21 questions to ask in the talking stage when getting to know that new guy or girl you just started talking to:

Keep Reading...Show less
Lifestyle

Challah vs. Easter Bread: A Delicious Dilemma

Is there really such a difference in Challah bread or Easter Bread?

37840
loaves of challah and easter bread stacked up aside each other, an abundance of food in baskets
StableDiffusion

Ever since I could remember, it was a treat to receive Easter Bread made by my grandmother. We would only have it once a year and the wait was excruciating. Now that my grandmother has gotten older, she has stopped baking a lot of her recipes that require a lot of hand usage--her traditional Italian baking means no machines. So for the past few years, I have missed enjoying my Easter Bread.

Keep Reading...Show less
Adulting

Unlocking Lake People's Secrets: 15 Must-Knows!

There's no other place you'd rather be in the summer.

959397
Group of joyful friends sitting in a boat
Haley Harvey

The people that spend their summers at the lake are a unique group of people.

Whether you grew up going to the lake, have only recently started going, or have only been once or twice, you know it takes a certain kind of person to be a lake person. To the long-time lake people, the lake holds a special place in your heart, no matter how dirty the water may look.

Keep Reading...Show less
Student Life

Top 10 Reasons My School Rocks!

Why I Chose a Small School Over a Big University.

194626
man in black long sleeve shirt and black pants walking on white concrete pathway

I was asked so many times why I wanted to go to a small school when a big university is so much better. Don't get me wrong, I'm sure a big university is great but I absolutely love going to a small school. I know that I miss out on big sporting events and having people actually know where it is. I can't even count how many times I've been asked where it is and I know they won't know so I just say "somewhere in the middle of Wisconsin." But, I get to know most people at my school and I know my professors very well. Not to mention, being able to walk to the other side of campus in 5 minutes at a casual walking pace. I am so happy I made the decision to go to school where I did. I love my school and these are just a few reasons why.

Keep Reading...Show less

Subscribe to Our Newsletter

Facebook Comments