At school, I am a social butterfly. I love dressing up for school in cute skirts, and dresses. I am a Public Relations major, so I generally love people, making lots of friends, and having a good laugh.
However, as soon as I get home I rip off the girly outfit and throw on sweat pants and my signature Pikachu hat. I grab my crunchy snacks and spend hours watching YouTube, or playing video games alone. I don’t enjoy long conversations on the phone. I would much rather order a pizza than go out in public to eat with friends or family. If I have spare time, I would much rather spend it locking myself in my room with a good anime than going to a “cool college party” filled with unfamiliar people.
I try to get very involved in all things inside, and outside of school. However, the introverted me sometimes gets overwhelmed when extrovert me is activated, and it forces me to run and hide. The ultimate conflict.
What am I?
The truth is, I am both. I am an introverted extrovert.
I like spending time with people in short doses, but only people who I love. I don’t like small rooms stuffed with people I barely like. I am not interested in spending large amounts of time and energy pretending to like people who I don’t actually enjoy. Take notice, If you are good friends with an introverted extrovert, consider yourself blessed. They are very picky people when it comes to real friends, and if you are chosen as a close friend, you are really loved and special to that person.
Sometimes I feel like the prom queen, and sometimes I feel like the outcast. I most days will eat lunch by myself at school, but then I spend time with dozens of friends for video game club nights! I can call the pizza guy when some of my more shy friends chicken out. But then I freeze when it comes to celebrities, or strangers. At times, I over worry about offending or hurting others, so I decide to remain quiet, or just nod my head in agreement. However, sometimes my inner Italian comes out, and I just start uncontrollably spewing my honest feelings without a second of worry.
Introverted extroverts are hard to figure out, and everything changes on a day-to-day basis. One day you will find them being the life of the party, another day a background character.
One of the most conflicting parts about being an introverted extrovert is wanting alone time, when surrounded by people, but then when the time comes to be alone, uncontrollable loneliness sweeps over us. In addition, I have the ability to switch between the two personalties most times. If I engage the extroverted me, I am always social and friendly. Oftentimes people will mistake my friendliness for flirtation. This can be extremely frustrating especially since it requires a large amount of effort to muster up the energy to be so engaging.
The bottom line is that being an introverted extrovert is actually a good thing. It means that you are flexible to different situations and people. You can have a relaxing night at home reading a good book, or you can bring out the people oriented version of yourself. Being able to adjust to your surroundings is an important skill, and it is one that I have mastered as an introverted extrovert.
