Everyday Etiquette

By: Shara Richards

Imagine that there are an immense variety of strings in this room. These threads connect each one of us in the only race that matters, the human race. One of these ubiquitous threads, that binds us, one to the other, is etiquette. This social protocol of good conduct is the material for dealing with everyone in the nicest, most respectful way possible and has become a tangible tapestry for all our lives.

Most of us have been taught a great deal, through life experiences, about the conventional decorum of polite society. Good manners have been sewn into me and into most of you. We are trained to acknowledge people in a respectful manner. We all are members of a civil society, which has instilled in us an ability to relate to each other, like a strong thread that fuses our lives together.

As a member of society, I use etiquette every day. I use manners daily because I want everyone I come into contact with, to receive the respect I would like to obtain as well. Etiquette is a great equalizer of people, as it gives each one of us an even stitch in the great tapestry of life. In order to help you better value etiquette, I will share with you the history, usage and effect of manners on society today. Everyday etiquette is better understood when you learn its history

Even at the dawn of time people were trying to come up with ways to deal with one another in a practical pleasant manner. Etiquette is the customary code of polite behavior in society, as in doing things in a certain manner or protocol that inflicts the least amount of harm, hemming us in a seam of nicety. When prehistoric peoples began to intermingle they learned to act in ways that made life easier and more satisfying. Manners had a useful reason. Early civilizations developed rules for proper social conduct. There was even proper etiquette in the Bible, as in the golden rule do unto others as you would have them do unto you. Much of today's formal etiquette originated in the French royal court during the 1600-1700's. The nobles drew up a list of proper social behavior and called it an etiquette. This social code of behavior soon spread and was eventually adopted throughout the Western world. Of course the formality of courtly manners is not as applicable but manners are in a constant state of evolution to help us adapt to every situation in a proper and suitable way. There are all types of social protocols for a variety of situations in our lives. As an example for proper etiquette and the use manners, when meeting someone for the first time social etiquette states you should shake hands. When you actually shake hands you are following through with etiquette and you are using good manners.

In the article Civility, Tact, and the Joy of Communication which was featured in the 2009 Philosophy of Education Year book, the author states that having the capability to use manners creates a “…civility that smoothes over social interactions, minimizing violent conflict by bringing individuals together around issues of common concern in a way that is mutually respectful.”

Now that you understand a little of the history of etiquette, I will share with you the everyday use of manners. We are all taught certain protocols to follow to help us establish connections with one another. Young children are often taught manners either by a trusted adult or from a friendly character on TV such as Barney’s, “Please and Thank You” song as featured on the YouTube video “Once upon a Fairy Tale.” Teaching behaviors of good conduct early gives our smallest strings the chance to join in the sequence of our civility. Simple manners like elbows off the table, saying excuse me, how to act around adults and other social graces are taught to our children, so that one day they can be functioning members of our polite society as well. Demonstrating the use of good manners daily can help others learn how to use their own manners.

Every day is a good day to brush up on your manners, to use them to make everybody’s day better. Smiling when meeting someone, making eye contact, speaking in a respectful fashion and being polite are different ways of using your manners.

Now that we have discussed the use of manners, I will speak with you about the effect of manners on society. Our daily interactions are often affected by whether or not people use their manners. As adults we often know how to use our manners, but sometimes we don’t give enough consideration as to how that can affect other people. We are linked with each other by the way of manners, which helps insure that these ties are comfortable for each one of us. Manners aren’t as strictly utilized as they used to be. We have become a society where we are too busy to pay attention to those around us, often abbreviating our interactions with people. When etiquette is left out, it puts undo stress on individuals who just want respect.

Everyone should have the benefits of your etiquette. There are no people in the periphery of your life; everyone deserves the same grace of good conduct, that you would give to those that you know. It’s nice to be nice, is the simplest way to put, how to use etiquette. According to the website emilypost.com, "Manners are a sensitive awareness of the feelings of others. If you have that awareness, you have good manners, no matter what fork you use."

Now that I have discussed with you the history, use, and effect of manners you can better understand how you are the barometer in not only your lives but also in other peoples as well. Everyday etiquette is a gauge of how the material of our lives is embroidered. These threads of etiquette and manners become the fabric of who we are. Threading us together in continuity and sewing us in good unity. How will your threads appear in the tapestry of life?

Works Cited

Laverty, M. (2009). Civility, Tact, and the Joy of Communication. Philosophy of Education Yearbook, (228-237).

Uploaded by barneyandbj on Dec 10, 2011.Barney - Please and Thank You Song from "Once upon a Fairy Tale" Episode Retrieved on September 29, 2012 from http://www.youtube.com/ watch?feature=player_detailpage&v=D3CgwV3o7AM

Post, A. (2012) Retrieved September 29, 2012 from http://www.emilypost.com