Start writing a post
Health Wellness



Madison Smith

Depression is ruthless and it does not discriminate.

I was about to start my freshman year of college and I was looking forward to a new experience. I grew up in a strict Christian home, and for the first time in my life, I wanted to do my own thing. I still believed in God but I no longer wanted to live for him. I was ready to just let loose and have fun. At the time I did not think that living a life for God would ever make me happy.

I spent my freshman year partying hard and I thought I was living the good life. I knew that if I lived for God that I would not be able to party like this. I just knew that would not make me happy and I wanted to do what made me feel good at the moment. All my friends were going out and we were all having a good time, and I did not want to give this lifestyle up.

It was not long before I completely hit rock bottom and it all happened at once. I saw some pretty sketchy things and I was always putting myself in bad situations. I had to leave behind a lot of friendships and I was lonely because the friends I had were only there for a good time. The friendships I had were not genuine and my so-called friends did not even know who I was they just wanted to have a good time.

I will never forget telling my parents that I was broken and I did not know what I was going to do. I was ready to give up on life because I thought I no longer had a reason to be alive. It was hard for me to be open about this to my parents. I was scared that they would not look at me the same. I did not want to cause my parents' any more pain than I already had.

My parents were so understanding and even though it was hard to talk about I might not be here if it were not for them. I learned that it is nothing to be ashamed of. I was not weak because I struggled with depression. In fact, it takes a lot of strength to come out and say that you struggle with depression.

I was going to overcome my depression and I was determined. This was not something that would happen overnight, and it was not something I could do alone. I knew at this moment that I needed God and I could no longer live this old lifestyle. I almost lost everything from the lifestyle I was living.

Sometimes I forget just how far I have come, and some days I am disappointed in myself. It is so easy to forget where I once was, and it is even easier to compare myself to others. When I look back on my past I laugh because I almost threw everything away for nothing.

If I was not sitting here writing this today there would be so much that I would have missed out on. I wish I could say that life gets easier and it all goes away, but if I told you that it gets easier that would be a lie. I would say my life has made a turn for the better. Sure, I still have bad days but if it were not for the bad days I would not enjoy the good days nearly as much.

One thing that I have learned from this journey is that you should always speak up. I know that you might tell yourself that no one cares or that you do not want to seem weak. I was this person I thought that no one would care about my depression. This is a lie so many people even strangers have cared and listened to me. I thought that being open about my depression would make me feel weak, but it has made me feel so much stronger than I could have ever imagined.

I hope that if you are struggling mentally that you go get help. I know that it seems scary to talk about mental health, but I promise you feel so much better once you get help. At one time I was that girl who had no where else to go, and I was ready to throw everything I had away. I made a scary choice to get help and my life took a completely different turn for the best.

Take all your insecurities, doubts, fears, and all your other burdens and lay them down. I gave this all to God and he worked through my life in mysterious ways. He never failed me and he never abandoned me. Even when I lost all my friends and pushed away all my family. The one thing that remained true was that God never left my side.

There are no words that could ever fully capture the true picture of depression. The best way to describe it is like a storm. Sometimes in life, we may face storms that break us down. After every storm comes a rainbow and gives you a chance to build yourself back up. Just because the storm is over does not mean that there will not ever be another storm. Without the storm, you would never be able to see the rainbow.

Report this Content
This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.

Women are known to lug around heavy purses with unnecessary items inside. How many of these useful items do you keep in your own bag? We need to be prepared with a list of things to have with us whenever we leave the house again.

Keep Reading... Show less

I personally love using song lyrics as my Instagram captions, especially from songs that I love or that mean a lot to me, and I happen to love Harry Styles and all of his songs! So I made a list of lyrics from each of his songs that you could use in your next Instagram caption.

Keep Reading... Show less

Everyone's been here. And, truthfully, it sucks. But in order to move on and get past something you need to allow yourself to feel it for what it is--all of the heartbreak and pain--and then you can start to take steps move on.

Keep Reading... Show less

11 Christmas Movies You'll Remember If You Were A 2000s Kid

Because I'm still reminiscing about simpler times.


The Christmas season is coming to an end, but it's not too late to get some last-minute movies in! Unfortunately, this year didn't look like a typical Christmas. While we can't have any big Christmas parties or family gatherings, we can still celebrate at home! Christmas is the best time for nostalgia, and we could all use some warm and fuzzy feelings as we wrap up a tough year and enter a new one that hasn't been proven any calmer, either.

As a kid who grew up in the 2000s, I can think of some of my favorite staple Christmas movies. If you're looking for recommendations or just a walk down memory lane, check out the list below.

Keep Reading... Show less

9 Reasons 'The Wilds' Should Be Your Next Binge Watch

The Wilds is the Best New Show on Amazon Prime


As we enter the new year, you might be looking for a great show to kick-off 2021. Look no further, I have the perfect recommendation. "The Wilds" was released on Amazon Prime last month and has been gaining traction steadily since then. This series of 10 one-hour episodes tells the stories of eight girls who find themselves on a deserted island after their plane crashed while they are on their way to a resort. Unlike other survival shows, there's a bit more to the story than what first meets the eye. This show is unique in characters, storytelling methods, and plot.

If you aren't convinced yet, allow me to provide you with a list of further persuasion.

Keep Reading... Show less

5 Therapeutic Ways To Be Adventurous During The Pandemic

Add some music to reduce the COVID-anxiety a bit and perceive your surroundings as the elaborate setting of a land far, far away from home


Even if we are not traveling abroad at the moment, we can still travel locally while maintaining social distancing and preventative guidelines. Sometimes, the little things in life seem the most fascinating and joyous to us compared to the flamboyant luxuries that we perhaps have a wishful desire for.

So, as a potential remedy for our travel necessity, I have listed 5 alternative ways in which you can relish your traveling desires during this pandemic.

Keep Reading... Show less

10 Things TikTok Made Me Buy, And Now My Life Is So Much Better

Where would I be without my Revlon hair dryer or CeraVe skin products?! Thanks, TikTok.


TikTok is a great way to see what products are trending. People are sharing tips and tricks about items that they use to make their life happier, healthier, or just easier.

Keep Reading... Show less
Facebook Comments