If you thought GPAs counted in high school, just wait until college, where tears are spilled on grades that come down to the hundredth decibel. Sure your high school GPA got you the scholarship, but your college GPA gets you the internship, the job and let’s face it, the Latin bragging rights for your résumé. Here are all the GPA’s you could technically get (but about half you don’t want) and their definition:
0.00-1.0
You’re breathing, but at what cost? I’ll tell you: $35,000 worth of student loans.
1.0-1.5
You carried senior skip day from high school into college, and made it stretch past a day, into a week and finally into a semester. And your excuses...well, they were original the first month.
1.6-1.9
The GPA you might have if you’re trying to get your life together after a semester (or three) of skipped 8 AMs.
2.0-2.5
The GPA you need to get up to keep your scholarship/The GPA that keeps you up at night, making you question how you let things get so bad so fast.
2.6
YOU GET TO KEEP YOUR SCHOLARSHIP *wipes brow*
2.7
That 3.0 is so close, yet so, so far.
2.8
You’re getting closer, and now realize that you actually like the Gen Ed course you have to take, yet you still claim you go just because attendance is part of the grade.
2.9
The GPA that hurts, because it’s still in the 2s, but also shows you’re making progress
3.0
THE HOLY GRAIL. You needed this. You needed this to get into your program and finally back into your parents’ good graces.
3.1
Ah, to be average—literally the national average. Nothing felt sweeter.
3.2
Why does this GPA just not look good? It’s higher than a 3.1, but it just doesn’t look pretty. Hm. These are the thoughts that keep you in the bathroom for 10 minutes longer than you wanted.
3.3
OH THE SYMMETRY OF THIS GPA, makes the heart happy.
3.4
A good, solid GPA. You worked hard, champ.
3.5
Also known as the grad school GPA.
3.6
The GPA you got during your first semester of college that your parents bragged about in the Christmas letter.
3.7
The GPA you probably have be nursing for a few semesters now, because the second it slips to 3.6 you will, in fact, have a breakdown.
3.8
SUMMA CUM LAUDE TERRITORY, BABY. If you thought you were nursing your 3.7, you’re all but a helicopter parent with this one.
3.9-3.98
The GPA you feel you need to add the extra decibel to, because let’s be honest, a 3.95 sounds so much ~richer~ than a 3.9.
3.99
The GPA that has one f*cking A- from that one f*cking class where you swear that one f*cking professor was out to get you and just didn’t want to see you f*cking succeed.
4.0
Everyone hates you—or at least hates that you have that. Shake ‘em off, fam.
