I have now completed my first semester of my college career. It definitely has not been easy. Like my mother, I can be a perfectionist and overachiever and college has made me realize this more and more. In middle and high school, my parents pushed me to strive for the honor roll and after so many years of achieving this goal, it has become a part of my nature to achieve the honor roll or in college, the dean's list. Therefore, my struggle in Chemistry caused me a lot of depression and anxiety. My testing anxiety went up the roof after failing my first exam and I felt like I was stupid. This stress continued through the semester as I continued to struggle in Chemistry and French. By the last week of class, I was close to tears due to the fact that I was feeling like a failure. I talked to my sister, close to tears, and she had to reassure me that as long as I tried my best, that was all that mattered.

Though I don't live far from Sweet Briar, I often felt homesick due to the bullying I experienced during the first two months of the semester. Luckily, I was able to come home almost every weekend if I needed a way to escape. During the times I came home, I was grateful that I didn't attend college in California like I wanted to during my freshman year of high school. I was also able to have such a strong connection with my parents who were almost always there to support me when I needed them. Now that I have completed my last exam, turned in my last paper, and attended my last class for the semester, I now see that being a perfectionist is not necessary or attainable in college. I am taking steps to continue my recovery stage from my depression, but I definitely have some changes to make internally and externally to decrease the amount of stress that overcomes me. I advise for every college, no matter if you are a freshman, sophmore, junior, or senior to look back at their semester and find ways to in which you can improve in the next semester. It definitely is necessary and helpful during this month break.