I remember the day that we first met. It was a glorious day in late-March, so everything was overflowing with the excitement and beauty of spring. The sky was a bold blue ocean for the swimming clouds, trees were showcasing their annual display of the flowers that precede the emerald leaves, and it was just warm enough for me to stick my head out of the car vehicle as my friends and I drove to Destination XL -- the only local store that doesn’t discriminate against tall people.

I had recently invested in a credit card, and I was seeking to improve my wardrobe. My roommate Rafael and our honorary roommate Emily had accompanied me because they did not trust my sense of fashion enough to let me dress myself. We were on a mission to purchase one amazing outfit that I could wear to parties, but little did we know that one component of this outfit would change my life forever.

We arrived at the shop, and I must admit that there were a lot of spectacular looking pants there that day. I tried on almost 10 pairs before we first noticed you. I believe it was Rafael who saw you first, and he didn’t know it yet, but when he tossed that pair of pants over the dressing room door, he was fulfilling a destiny.

The first attribute that I noticed about you was your stunning color. Deep shades of blue had been beautifully blended on your fabric. Not even Picasso himself could have painted something as beautiful as the mixture of blue that Calvin Klein had given you. I knew that you were a masterpiece.

Still, I had to try you on, because an article of clothing can beautiful, but if it doesn’t come in my size, then that initial adoration is crushed and replaced with a painful desire for something that I know I can never have. I slipped you over my legs, and I buttoned you around my waist.

Our first embrace was exhilarating.

You fit comfortably around me, and you covered my ankles (which is an accomplishment that most jeans cannot achieve on a tall man like myself). Then, I looked into the mirror. It was as if I was looking at the engagement photos of two soulmates. I was meant for you, and you for me. My calves bulged against your fabric. My thighs appeared to be thin. Most importantly though, my booty was like a gold medal, and you were the pristine trophy case.

As is with all relationships, I had to gain my friend’s approval. I walked out of the dressing room after expressing the confidence that this pair of pants had blessed me with. I could almost hear the gasp escape from their mouths as I strut around them. They agreed that you were the one.

I had to seal the deal. We bought a few other items- a teal button up shirt, some argyle socks, and a pair of shoes that would bring the whole outfit together. I asked the cashier to ring it up, and looking back, that’s the only ring by spring that I’ve ever wanted. You cost $89.56, which is a hefty price to pay for jeans, but you made my ass look like a million bucks.

After that first day, we had some amazing memories with one another. I wore you constantly. I was wearing you when a beautiful stranger approached me while I was downtown just to compliment my legs. I was wearing you in the snapchat videos that my friends took while I flawlessly danced at a party. I was wearing you when I asked a cute girl from my english class to grab coffee with me (I’m fully convinced that she said yes because of you), and I was wearing you when I received my first real kiss while on this coffee date. You and I only had ups my friend.

That’s why I was so devastated when I found the rip.

It was Christmas morning, and I had woken up before the rest of my family. I got dressed so that I would look nice for any pictures that my parents took that morning, and of course I chose you. To me, you were a part of the family, and you deserved to experience the holidays with us.

After I had gotten dressed, I was brushing my teeth in front of the bathroom mirror. I turned and bent over to grab the mouthwash, and with my peripheral vision, I checked myself out to make sure that our backside still looked as top notch as it had for the first eight months, but I froze. On my crotch, a hole the size of a fifty cent piece was staring back.

If I could honestly admit that I was a strong man in this moment of fear, I would. However, that is not the case: I cried, and when my mother woke up, I cried to her too. How could the world be so cruel? You were my favorite pair of pants, and now the Grim Reaper had stolen you on Christmas day!

You’re still sitting in my drawer. I just can’t say goodbye. I’ve purchased another pair of jeans since that dismal day, but I don’t have the heart to tell you yet, because you’re the most delicate 36 X 42 that I’ve ever known. This pair isn’t as wonderful as you were, but of course, no pair of pants could ever replace you.