Throughout college, I’ve had to write a ton of essays. However, there is still close to nothing I dread more than actually writing them (well, except perhaps giving PowerPoint presentations). You think I would have learned by now not to wait until a couple nights before or the night before to start my papers. In an ideal world, I would outline my topic and put plenty of thought into my argument, but that never seems to happen. If you can relate, you’ll find yourself thinking this exact thought process while writing an essay:
1. Your professor tells you he or she has posted the rubric online for your essay that is due in two weeks, and you avoid Blackboard for a few days, pretending you are ignorant to the fact that the rubric is, in fact, posted:
2. When you finally get the courage, you glance at the essay topics and then think, Wow, I've got plenty of time to write this. I'm definitely not going to start now.
3. You continue to ignore the essay, and naturally start a couple days or the night before and think whatever, I got this; procrastination is a skill that I excel in:
4. You stare blankly at the word document in front of you and start to consider your life choices:
5. You stop questioning your life choices and finally type one sentence of your intro:
6. You then decide to take a break by scrolling through Facebook or watching ten BuzzFeed videos in a row.
7. You then force yourself to exit out of the Internet entirely and become determined to write your essay.
8. After your first body paragraph is written, you convince yourself that you've worked hard and decide you deserve to take a snack break:
9. Of course, while eating your snack, you go on Facebook again or watch 10 more BuzzFeed videos.
10. After you finish your snack, you think OK, it's time to really get to work. You once again exit out of your Internet browser.
11. You finally actually get to work and get a good rhythm going once you realize how little time you have left:
12. You finish your body paragraphs and get to the conclusion, asking yourself how to expand on a conclusion, which is something you admittedly should have learned in high school or at least by freshman year.
13. You write the last sentence of your conclusion and halfheartedly edit it. You close all tabs and sigh in relief and think to yourself that never before have blank tabs been so beautiful.
14. You promise that for your next essay, you won't procrastinate this time.
15. Naturally, you procrastinate again and repeat the vicious cycle:
