There are so many strong women I grew up knowing, personally and from afar, that are becoming new mothers. With all the beautiful babies on my timeline and shortly walking into marriage, the baby fever is real, y'all. Although I feel I have, at least, a solid four years before I consider having one of my own, I can't help envision how I'll be as a mother. Looking back at my life and how I was raised, I have a firm ground of what I know I'll want my kid to know. I think combining that with what we're actually being given today in this world is extremely important. I don't know what it's actually like to be a mother and I know that it probably won't be easy. Thinking I have all my ducks in a row will only be a temporary feeling, I'm sure. I know I won't actually know anything for a while, and that's okay. To all those lovely ladies making motherhood look easy, hats off to you! Whether we've never said two words to each other, or maybe we were close once upon a time, I'm proud of you.
Things are so different now than they were when we were growing up. It was a right of passage to go through the braces and blue eye shadow era, but now there are kids as young as toddler age mastering the art of contouring and texting with their own iPhones. Society is pushing for them to feel comfortable with being open about who they are, but we are watching countless amounts of people literally being bullied to death. I used to wait at the end of the driveway in the early morning to get on the bus, but now abductions and school shootings seem to be at an all-time high. This almost scares me out of wanting to be a mother or pushes me to be the sheltering kind. As much of a superhero you're made out to be, you can't keep them safe from everything. All you can do is raise them to the best of your ability and trust that they've soaked it all in like a sponge.
They should know respect is given with the benefit of the doubt and earned thereafter. They should know that it's okay for other people to be different than they are. They should know kindness and selflessness, but also when to be strong and assertive. They should know that it's okay to be exactly who they wanna be and that they can make a difference in the world. I think that their innocence is the greatest gift they will ever have. Above all, the number one thing they should know and NEVER doubt, is that they are wanted, worth it, and loved.
I may not know anything about actually being a mother, but what I do know is that I will be the most loving one there is. I'll never allow my kid to learn was it's like to not feel good enough. I'll never let them feel abandoned or judged. I will never tear them down mentally or emotionally to the point where they aren't able to stand back up. They will never feel second best to anything or anyone. I will be the most delicate medicine during their most vulnerable moments. I won't ever give up on being their guidance, their backbone, or their shoulder to lean on; I will never give up on my kid. They will never know what it's like for me to just check out on life. I know I'll be okay because I've experienced what exactly not to do.
I can promise you that the darkness of feeling not good enough as someone's child can be potentially scarring, and it's not an easy climb back out of the hole. I'm still growing and learning things about life, and I don't think anyone is ever 100% ready. I don't think it's something that anyone tends to master, or maybe they do. Whatever kind of mother any one of us strives to be, if we're ever given that beautiful chance, I think we can all agree that making sure they know they come first is the best thing anyone can do.
