I have learned a lot about people from social media. Like the fact that there are two kinds of people. Those who are private and those who share every milestone with not only family, but complete strangers. Pride is a beautiful thing, everyone should be proud of their important accomplishments. Scroll through social media and you'll see a ton of proud moments; engagements, pregnancy announcements, graduations, and clean dates. That's right, clean dates.
Addiction is a topic that could destroy any thought of a civil conversation, but let's discuss a part of it. I am all about seeing a child's milestones, or a cancer patients update that they beat cancer. I am just tired of seeing "44 days clean #soberlife." We get it, you are proud that you kicked an illegal habit. We are proud that you found the will power to battle the beast and lived to tell the tale. Most of us are proud of you, but I don't need updates that you didn't relapse every 2 weeks.
I know plenty in recovery that I honestly couldn't tell you how much clean time they have. Why? They celebrate it in silence. They are so proud of themselves that they don't need anyone patting them on the back. They don't need anyone to be proud for them to continue on their path. I admire those people. Those are the ones that upon meeting them their first words aren't "hey I am 15 months sober." Awkward. What am I supposed to say to that? I wear my heart on my sleeve, but talk about opening your soul to a stranger. Without knowing my stance on addiction, you could be opening up a subject that could leaving you feel hurt rather than embraced.
Want to know what else I discovered? For some, those sober dates never change. They relapse and continue to use the sober date they have prior to their relapse. As if it didn't happen. It happened. Take responsibility for it, own it and use your new date. Don't go into a meeting and accept that 90 day tag when you got high three hours prior to the meeting. (For the record I went to school for addictions and worked in the field.)
I'm not saying to be silent. By all means celebrate your sobriety. With family,friends, or in a meeting. If it's a milestone feel free to post it on social media, but let's limit it to every 6 months or every year. Not every single week. Don't get me wrong, I have empathy but my sympathy is limited.
Oh, can we stop comparing addiction to cancer.
