There are many things in this world I would rather do than work on a group project. Some of these activities include; writing a three-hundred-page paper by myself, going to four years of college all over again, or taking a fail on that report card.
You see, I have been in college for four years now and out of the hundreds of group projects, about two have been successful. I mean two out of three hundred is not very good odds.
Maybe I have just been unlucky, and maybe there are people out there who rejoice when they hear the words group project. But for me, I just cringe. From what I hear group projects haven’t exactly been in popular opinion since middle-school. Here is why:
There always seems to be that person who ghosts the group members immediately after they are assigned. The first day you meet your group, people act like they are excited about the work you guys will be doing together and you will finish days before the deadline. Pro tip: THEY ARE LYING. Because here is the thing, the next day, you text them to meet in the library, and bam! No response. Ever.
Next, arguably even worse than the person who refuses to answer the texts: the person who is never available to meet. Wondering if they are in the CIA or something, each group member suggests every possible time in the day and night. But, this person is always busy. It is crazy to think that some people can’t find an hour out of a whole month to sit down at the library.
Don’t worry, these projects don’t get better once you get in contact with your group and distribute the work. This may be the worst part, sadly. If your someone who likes to have work done in a timely manner, I know you’re with me on this one. The deadline is fast approaching and you’re obsessively checking the Google Doc, but it is blank.
Two days before the project is due, everyone is ghosting everyone and the fear of having nothing to talk about during the thirty-five-minute presentation is consuming you. Mind you, the teacher thinks you have been working on this all year. Finally, you break the silence to warn your group that you have to fit a full semesters worth of work in two days. The clock is ticking.
Fast forward, one stress-filled day later, the Google Doc is still blank, and you’re finally meeting with your group at the library. But, SURPRISE, one person can’t be there. The presentation is at eight a.m., and your group is still unsure of what the topic is. Oh, joy.
You finish your mediocre project in a few short hours, while each member of the group has quietly exclaimed that they wish you had started earlier than the day before. When leaving the library, everyone hesitantly agrees that they would be alright with receiving a C on the presentation because C’s get degrees.
The group project is over and you pray that you won’t have another group project for a long time, while you know very well there will be another one assigned next week.
Well, there you have it folks. The inner workings of every single group project I have been a part of for the past four years. They aren’t great, but I guess it is what it is. For all of you out there who have had better experiences than I have, go you. For those of you who haven’t, my condolences and solitude to you.
