When my ex-best friend decided to compromise our friendship because of a guy, I understood and wished her the best even though she trashed talked me heavily. When my boyfriend of six months decided to break up with me because I was too emotional after my knee surgery, I blamed myself for being too unstable. When no one was there for me at my lowest of times last semester, I thought it was because I didn't deserve comfort. All my life my parents have taught me to be there for others regardless of who they are or where they come from. I have embodied that deeply, but I used to fail to know when my compassion was being abused or not reciprocated back.

I have a hard time saying no to those who need me at their time of distress because I want to make things easier for anyone regardless of how big or little I can help. A few things I learned as I got older was that you can't change someone who doesn't want to change themselves. This was a hard pill to swallow because I have stood by people who never wanted to change themselves, but I was with them regardless. In the end, they were still the same and I came out emotionally drained.

Now I'm not saying that if your friend is doing something you disagree with that you leave them, but they should be appreciative or willing to work with you. If not, it's just a one-way road that leads nowhere and can sometimes be emotionally toxic. Another thing I learned was that you are not everyone's mother. Mistakes are prone to happen, but if its a continual cycle then it's just a usual habit. You could have some influence over them, but some people enjoy this negative attention and fake sympathy.

This year, I have encountered a lot of this and as much as I wanted to be a helping hand, I realized that it would only drag me down. Knowing where I stand in a situation has helped me to realize what control I have over the problem and myself.

For a while, I just thought I was a fool or stupid for being taken advantage of, but I wasn't. I was who I was and I should not penalize myself for that. Just because others are too caught up with themselves or who they can pry attention from, doesn't mean I should shut myself away from helping others who do need and value my help.