I’ll admit, when I first became an English major, I dreamed of either teaching college or high school. I dreamed of changing the lives of future generations and enriching the minds of youths and instilling a passion for literature in people who normally are opposed to reading in general. However, as my time in college has progressed and as I’ve experienced the many possibilities that are available for English majors for future careers, I’ve realized that teaching was never actually my calling.
That doesn’t stop people from constantly questioning what exactly I’m going to do with my English degree. In fact, I’m almost opposed to telling people my major because I know the sneer I’ll receive and the questions that are sure to follow.
After almost two years of being an English major, I feel as though I should be immune to the snarky comments I receive from others, but I’m not. Every time someone says something against English majors or questions my judgment for choosing this major, I’m taken aback.
So, I’ve created a list of things that I’m personally tired of hearing from non-English majors. To all the English majors out there, these should sound infinitely familiar.
1. Oh, you’re an English major!? You’re going to teach!
I always feel a bit perturbed whenever someone automatically assumes that I’m going to teach just because I’m majoring in English. It’s as if that’s the only thing an English major could ever aspire to do. Not that there’s anything wrong with teaching—some of the best people I know are teachers! However, just because I’m majoring in English doesn’t mean I want that career path.
2. If you’re not going to teach, then, what are you going to do?
As if there’s nothing outside the realm of teaching that is available for English majors. What about marketing, public relations, editors, journalists, writers, and more? I know plenty of English majors that have pursued a career in these options.
3. You have such an easy major.
This is something that offends me immensely. Try reading stories written in the 1600s and earlier or try reading over 100 pages for each class and then, tell me if being an English major is easy.
4. You shouldn’t have any problems with the reading—if you’re an English major, you must love reading everything!
Wrong. So wrong. I can probably count on one hand the things that I’ve enjoyed reading during my time as an English major. The majority of the things I read I either have to Sparknote because I can’t understand it for the life of me or struggle to read because it’s that terrible. Seriously, just because we English majors love to read doesn’t mean that we get to read the things that we would normally buy at Barnes & Noble. In fact, I personally love Young Adult novels. I’ve never had the pleasure of reading any of those in my English classes.
5. Can you edit my paper for me? Never mind, can you write my paper for me?
No offense, but as an English major, we have to write our own research papers, which are normally never less than six pages, and that’s the minimum length. To get our papers fully fleshed out to the point of receiving an A+, we normally have to write about 10 pages or more. With all the reading and writing I have to do on my own, I don’t exactly have the time to edit your papers for you on my own free will, and I definitely don’t have the time or desire to write your papers for you. If you’re willing to pay me a hefty amount, this could be negotiated.
6. You live in America. Don’t you know English enough by now?
Contrary to popular belief, an English major doesn’t learn the language of English. Sure, we learn proper grammar and such, but we mainly read and write. I promise we aren’t learning the English that we learned from birth.
7. Your degree isn’t as important as a degree in any science related field.
Why? Just because I didn’t learn about the body or plan to pursue a degree in medicine or study life, in general, doesn’t mean that my degree isn’t important. It takes all types of people, interests, and majors to make Universities flourish and the world go round.
8. Are you going to write a novel? Is that what you learned in college?
It’s true—my desire is to write a best-selling, OMG IT’S SO GOOD novel, but I haven't learned how to do so in college, and I doubt I'll learn how in the next six months. Typically, those who are concentrating in Creative Writing focus on the proper techniques to write creatively and successfully. For us other concentrations, such as Linguistics, Literature, and Professional Writing, we never learn how to write the next great novel.
9. I really hate English.
I’m sorry—really. I’m sorry that you hate English so much because I find it fascinating. However, chances are, I hate what you’re majoring in, but I’m not going to be rude enough to say it to your face.
10. Your major truly is worthless.
Well, aren’t you a ray of sunshine. Please read points one through nine, then try to tell me my major is worthless.
