A Shift In Energy
Start writing a post
Lifestyle

A Shift In Energy

What I've learned about looking inward, and finding happiness all on my own.

100
A Shift In Energy

About 3 months ago, my life changed. Big time. I made a big decision for myself that completely altered everything. I felt a shift in the energy around me, and I knew that I was setting the perfect path for me.

I won't get into too many details, but I had fallen into a very dark place. I didn't even recognize myself in the mirror anymore. I cried myself to sleep, and I cried the whole drive to work everyday. I was stuck. I was slowly losing everything that made me, me. But when you are in that mindset, and in that environment, there doesn't seem to be light at the end of the tunnel. I had no idea how to leave things that I had become familiar with and start over. I was afraid of continuing on with my life the way it was, but I was even more afraid of the unknown that would come with change.

I told myself for a long time, that I would never find someone that loved me again if I left. I thought maybe this was how it was supposed to be for me. I struggle with my own identity, sexuality and feelings on a daily basis. Being where I was then, meant that I didn't need to question those things. I had the answers in front of me. I had become comfortable with being unhappy, untrusted and misunderstood. I was lonely and isolated. But I also knew that there was some really good parts of me that I had shut out. I needed to do something, and do it before it was too late.

The breakup isn't what changed my life. Yes it was important, it acted as the tipping point for the life that i was meant to live. But it wasn't the most important part of my story. It wasn't, and isn't the reason that I am where I am now. I felt a weight come off my shoulders, and things began to come to life.

I've never really been into the whole "energy" thing. I always knew about the basic things, you know, karma comes around and all that. But 3 months ago, the energy in my life did a complete 180 and everything opened up for me. I made the scariest, but easiest decision. I took back control of my life and I felt the world shift underneath my feet. I was suddenly aware of all the possibilities that lay ahead of me and all the options I had in every aspect of my life.

There were so many things I could have been really, really sad about during that time. And I am NOT saying that I haven't had some sad moments. Moments where I have questioned the decision I made. But in those low moments I am now FINALLY able to look into the mirror and love who is looking back at me. She's beautiful, funny, caring, outgoing and so much more. I've made a promise to her that I will never settle for less than I deserve in anything I do in my life.

When I started really loving myself, I found so much to love about the life around me. I could complain about having to be responsible for two dogs on my own, but they are the most amazing and loyal parts of my life. I could complain about having to move back in with my parents, but I've grown closer to them and built up our relationship. I could complain about having to clean ice off my car every morning to go to work, but I have a car and a job! I am beyond lucky. I am beyond happy.

I've never loved myself as much as I do at this very moment. I've never felt so clear-minded, energetic and grateful than I do today. I did all of it by myself, for myself.

Look inward. I promise there's something really, really good in there.

And if you want to talk, I'm always here.


This is for: Mom and dad, Ali and Zach, Amy, Gracie, Alyse, Sayaka, my family and so many others. Thank you for being a part of this journey and for celebrating everything in life with me. I love you all!

Report this Content
This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.
houses under green sky
Photo by Alev Takil on Unsplash

Small towns certainly have their pros and cons. Many people who grow up in small towns find themselves counting the days until they get to escape their roots and plant new ones in bigger, "better" places. And that's fine. I'd be lying if I said I hadn't thought those same thoughts before too. We all have, but they say it's important to remember where you came from. When I think about where I come from, I can't help having an overwhelming feeling of gratitude for my roots. Being from a small town has taught me so many important lessons that I will carry with me for the rest of my life.

Keep Reading...Show less
​a woman sitting at a table having a coffee
nappy.co

I can't say "thank you" enough to express how grateful I am for you coming into my life. You have made such a huge impact on my life. I would not be the person I am today without you and I know that you will keep inspiring me to become an even better version of myself.

Keep Reading...Show less
Student Life

Waitlisted for a College Class? Here's What to Do!

Dealing with the inevitable realities of college life.

91563
college students waiting in a long line in the hallway
StableDiffusion

Course registration at college can be a big hassle and is almost never talked about. Classes you want to take fill up before you get a chance to register. You might change your mind about a class you want to take and must struggle to find another class to fit in the same time period. You also have to make sure no classes clash by time. Like I said, it's a big hassle.

This semester, I was waitlisted for two classes. Most people in this situation, especially first years, freak out because they don't know what to do. Here is what you should do when this happens.

Keep Reading...Show less
a man and a woman sitting on the beach in front of the sunset

Whether you met your new love interest online, through mutual friends, or another way entirely, you'll definitely want to know what you're getting into. I mean, really, what's the point in entering a relationship with someone if you don't know whether or not you're compatible on a very basic level?

Consider these 21 questions to ask in the talking stage when getting to know that new guy or girl you just started talking to:

Keep Reading...Show less
Lifestyle

Challah vs. Easter Bread: A Delicious Dilemma

Is there really such a difference in Challah bread or Easter Bread?

68045
loaves of challah and easter bread stacked up aside each other, an abundance of food in baskets
StableDiffusion

Ever since I could remember, it was a treat to receive Easter Bread made by my grandmother. We would only have it once a year and the wait was excruciating. Now that my grandmother has gotten older, she has stopped baking a lot of her recipes that require a lot of hand usage--her traditional Italian baking means no machines. So for the past few years, I have missed enjoying my Easter Bread.

Keep Reading...Show less

Subscribe to Our Newsletter

Facebook Comments