Jamie Utt writes in Getting to Why that "A mentor once told me that as a cisgender White man, the moment I decide that I am not part of the problem, I am the problem."
Think about that for a second.
It doesn't matter if you are a man that has never sexually harassed or spoken disrespectfully to a woman. If you are a white man you have the privilege to educate and change the opinions of other white men around you. Period. You also can be an advocate that supports gender equality and the rights of women.
Unfortunately, we live in a day and age where we are socialized to believe women are not equal to men. It's perpetrated by small things such as "mansplaining", which is when a man explains or comments on something to a woman in a condescending or oversimplified manner, or big things, such as widespread sexual assault without consequences. Of course, lack of consequences only applies to those with money or white skin, but that's another issue to be discussed in a later article.
It's statistically proven that many men are uncomfortable with the sexist remarks other men make around them. Unfortunately, they never say anything for fear of being a "sissy" or "less of a man." There is a certain way a "man" is supposed to act, and it doesn't involve standing up to your co-workers when they make a sexual remark about women. Unfortunately, these small-scale comments come from a larger culture of disrespect and a thing called "toxic masculinity."
Masculinity in and of itself is not a bad thing. Do not get me wrong, I am not against all men, nor do I think being manly is a bad thing. There is, however, a problem when we cross into the masculinity that demeans and perpetuates a disregard for respect of women. This thing I mentioned above, "toxic masculinity" is defined as "a manhood that views women and LGBT people as inferior, and sees sex as an act, not of affection but domination, and which valorizes violence as a way to prove one's self to the world. "
This brings me to the topic of rape and sexual assault.
It is way more common than we think it is. There are men who act a certain way that causes us not to be surprised when they commit these crimes. There are also those who we never believe are capable of such a thing. It is clearly shown by the countless numbers of men who get away with probation because they are in school and a record would "ruin the rest of their lives" and future job potential.
We need to understand that the woman who was sexually assaulted had been changed forever. She has been violated and that is something she has to live with for the rest of her life. The media likes to pretend that it was "just one mistake" and "he's learned his lesson," but getting away without a real punishment doesn't teach a lesson, it enforces the ethos that men can do whatever they want to women and get away with it.
I hope you can see that this is a very serious issue. It is not just a woman's issue, it is changing an entire culture to enforce and promote equality. Men who are disgusted by sexist actions, do something. You have a voice, you need to use it. Even the smallest of actions can have a resounding impact.
Women also need to band together and use their voices. As a group, we are stronger. If you haven't heard of the #metoo movement it is a movement for survivors of sexual assault to support other survivors. To give a voice to those women who have had it taken away. It gives women the support they need to overcome and fight for justice.
Whether you are a man, woman, a victim of sexual assault, or not a victim of sexual assault, there is a place for you in the fight to end sexism.
I am a victim of sexual assault. If you are as well, comment "me too" and we can stand together.
