This week and last week was absolute chaos for me; tests, quizzes, assignments, and this one guy got me trapped in a hurricane. I couldn't do much.
This guy that I've been crushing on the past few years enchanted me. Like all crushes, they usually end. Likewise, my four-year crush on this guy was practically over at the beginning of this week until that one morning.
On a bright and sunny day, I casually sat in the cafeteria in the morning. Surrounded by all my friends, we were having an engaging conversation. We shared laughs, screams, and just pure happiness in our conversation. Suddenly, the bell had rung for first-period warning bell and we slowly began to head off to first. Everything was calm. Nothing suspicious out of the sort. That was until my crush walked past our table. As he walked past, I was laughing at what my friends said. At a quick glance, I noticed him staring off towards my direction and grin a little. Like that, I was caught in his magic.
I sometimes question what kind of sorcery he is playing with to make me crush on him again once more. Almost as if my crush for him has been reborn and renewed, stronger than ever.
But I don't want this. The word "crush" is literally meant to crush my heart. At least for me, it is. I just can't grasp why I choose to purposely break my heart by crushing on a guy who is completely out of my league. I mean, out of all people in the entire school, I choose a guy who is a junior and is completely out of my league. Of course, it's not necessarily impossible. I do have mutual friends with him. But the issue is that I just lack the social skills. Perhaps if I was more congenial I wouldn't be so crushed all the time.
Regardless, I still do not understand. I believe that this has been my longest-lasting crush so far. From sixth grade, it has been a wild ride. Although it wasn't as serious back then, it still meant something in a way.
But there are sometimes I believe that I can't be enchanted towards him. I feel like I give off a sort of creepy vibe towards him. But then again, I haven't done a single thing.
I believe that with my own free will and power, I can get rid of his cursed spell. I can be free of crushes. But for some reason, I also believe that I let myself get caught up in his magical trap. I let myself be enchanted towards him.
