I have been songwriting for over 10 years now and honestly, it is the most rewarding thing I have ever done; however, there are so many times that I have felt so vulnerable.

Being a songwriter, to me, means that you put whatever you feel into music and melodies. You take the emotions that have been put before you and turn them into words. Songwriting makes your personal pain, growth, and feelings public. I know for my case, I usually write from what I feel. Whether the subject of my song is a real person or a character from a movie, I still put the same effort into what I write. With that, there is a promised sense of vulnerability, especially when the songs are from real situations. You put your emotions into a song but then you're forced to share and live them.

Now don't get me wrong, I love sharing my music with people because I know that everyone can find a piece of music and connect with it; but, when I play my music for people, the personal parts become even more personal. Every time I write and I play a song for someone, I always have second thoughts about what I have written because sometimes I think the words may be too intimate.

When I do make my music personal and about situations that I have been in, whether they are romantic or not, I always use my songwriting as a way to work through feelings that I have no idea how to handle. I fight the foreign emotions using my guitar as a shield and my voice as a battle cry. After a while of playing the same song over and over, I begin to feel like I know how to conquer and move on from what I'm feeling. Then it gives me the satisfaction to go back and sing the song while relating it to memories and not fresh emotions.

Songwriting also helps me cope with things. I started writing songs right before my grandmother passed away, then I would write about the grief that I felt. I know that there has been so much loss in my family and my immediate family would be in so much pain that I would feel bad about going to them for comfort because I thought it was a burden, even when it most definitely wasn't. That's when I started to put my feelings into melodies. I found that it was so much easier to write what I felt and then sing it, rather than speak it. There is so much truth in my music because I know that whatever I write is going to be honest.

There have been so many times when I have written a song without really thinking about the meaning behind the words. I usually just write, write, write, and then I record everything on my phone's voice memos. When I play back the music, that's when I really feel the emotions that I wrote. When I sing and play, I think that it kind of distracts my brain from what I am really saying and that's why I am comfortable bearing my soul in my music. I have a buffer between my voice and my head.

I also know that playing my own music in front of other people is actually more nerve-racking than actually performing. It's because when you put pieces of yourself in your music, you hope that people will like it. If they don't, it's kind of like they don't enjoy that piece of you. I get really scared when I ask people if I can play a song for them because I write so many songs in a week and it feels like I am being a bother to them. I have actually been told that it is "probably hard work being my friend" because of my songwriting and that "sometimes [people] have to force [themselves] to listen for the 3-5 minutes I play". It's those comments that really discourage songwriters from performing because you want music to be an exciting time, not a bother.

To all the songwriter out there, keep writing from your heart. Keep writing about what you feel because I know that there are people out there that want to listen. Your music is amazing and your talent is incredible, don't let negative opinions dictate the way you write and share your music. There are so many times that I have thought about stopping my songwriting but when you have been doing something since you were 8 years old, it becomes a part of you.