The term "phobia" often comes with common stigma or misuse of the actual word. For instance, if you say "I hate spiders, they are the worst," that does not mean you have a phobia, it simply means you are afraid. Now I am not saying those words only pertain to those who are strictly afraid, but I do want to make it clear that a phobia is much different. Personally, I have dealt with Emetophobia for as long as I can remember. For those of you who are lucky enough to not know the scientific term, it essentially means the uncontrollable fear of anything pertaining to vomiting. Throughout years I have been mocked, laughed at, and in severe cases exposed to fake vomiting noises as well as hypothetical situations by my peers and believe it or not, doctors. I am not quite sure what would provoke someone to invalidate another ones phobia by exposing them to it, but it was evidently something I had to deal with. In my later years of high school there were times that I had to abruptly leave class due to someone coughing in the hopes of triggering me or insinuating they were going to stick their finger down their throat. These situations would not cause severe panic in those with a just a fear of vomiting, but they caused 30 min panic attacks for me. I can recall multiple times within my childhood that vomiting has affected my day to day activities for months following the event. In March of 2014, things hit super hard for me. By unfortunate circumstances, I spent one night pacing back and forth in my living room with the unsettling feeling of getting sick. I knew it was not preventable so eventually after many tears and moments of panic I allowed it to happen, that night I did not realize how my life would change for the absolute worst. Within the next couple months I lost around 25 lbs because I was afraid to eat, I would not leave my house, and was unfortunately on the verge of homebound. I spend the next couple years being completely and utterly afraid in every circumstance that this situation would occur again. I knew I would eventually get better because these things go in cycles, my childhood is a prime example of that. With a thankful heart and mind full of strength, I can say that things have gotten better, and even though I suffer now and then, I know where my anxiety lies, I just need to understand how to approach it. My emetophobia has caused many fears within my life, I am scared of being around those who are intoxicated, constant coughing, the month of march, the movie "Mr.Peabody and Sherman," and the most outrageous food combinations, like diet coke and chex mix, and pizza and popcorn. To most people those fears may sound irrational and dramatic, but to someone with a phobia, every detail involved in a trigger is now a an immense fear. Those who are simply afraid of throwing up have never experienced the hurricane of anxiety that hits me when the topic is relevant. I talk about my phobia often, and I assume that is my way of dealing with it, however recently it has gotten worse and writing this is something I am hoping will give me strength. For the first time in my life I had the stomach bug and I am back to square one, this time I am stronger than previously, but I am still not where I would want to be. Emetophobia has controlled my life for many years, but I am not allowing it to anymore. It is MY phobia, it does not own me and it will not own me, I have the strength, will power and courage to handle all that it brings my way. It has prevented me from making childhood memories like most kids had, traveling to places I have dreamed of, and has caused so many issues with food and binge eating. At 19 years old, I am still trying to explain to those around me that this is not a fear, but a phobia and a traumatic thing for me. For those of you who know someone with Emetophobia, or any phobia at all, please respect their fears and wishes. They are not overreacting, being dramatic, or doing this for attention. I would do anything to live my life without this battle, but at the end of the day, it is always important to remember, "God gives his toughest battles to his strongest soldiers."