I think I speak for every freshman when I say this year flew by quicker than I ever imagined. Only eight months ago, I was in Bed Bath and Beyond, scanning my plastic drawers and comforter, anxiously awaiting the beginning of a new chapter in my life. New friends, new classes, and a newfound sense of independence was waiting for me in Ann Arbor, and I didn't know if I was ready for it. But alas, the time came when I had to go and be on my own.
The first few months took forever. Some days I felt happy, adjusted, and as if I was thriving in this new place I called home. But other days I felt lonely, homesick, and as if I didn't belong. Although I felt like I was the only one feeling this way, after speaking with my college and home friends, I now realize I wasn't the only one that felt this way. College, especially freshman year, is a growing experience for everyone, and nobody has the perfect adjustment.
Here are eight things I've learned over the past eight months as a college freshman.
1. Your relationships with your home friends may change
Whether you were super close to your friends in high school or couldn't wait to leave them behind, your relationships with these people will change. I'm not saying that your relationships will 100% get worse; in fact, my home friend group got closer once leaving for school. Whenever we're home, we spend every second with each other and realized how much we truly love and miss each other when we're apart.
However, at school, there could be days or weeks when we don't speak, but that's ok! We are all in our own bubbles and have brand new friend groups at school. Yet, even though we're technically all apart, we all share a special bond that no one else can replace. That is something that cannot be ignored, so as much as your relationships may change, you will always be linked to one another, for better or for worse.
2. Everyone has a story
College is interesting because in high school, you more-or-less knew the backstory of every person in your grade. You grew up together, and especially if you went to a smaller school like me, you knew the backgrounds of most of the people in your grade. However, in college, you could not know that your best friend's parents got divorced, or he/she battles with depression, or he/she lost a family member. People are a lot more private with the details of their lives, so I learned to not judge people because you never know what that person went through or is currently going through.
3. Friendships are constantly evolving and developing at different speeds
The concept of making completely new friends at college was something that really freaked me out when first starting school. In high school, I had the same friends since I was in second grade. But here, I had to start fresh, meeting people in my classes, my hall, and my sorority. My friendships were constantly changing: I would be really close to a group people for a few months, but then we all would grow apart and I would become really close to another group of people.
I re-learned the importance of a deep, meaningful friendship and how it isn't immediate. It takes a while to meet your best friends, and there are so many more people for me to meet and friendships for me to form. Sometimes friendships are immediate and sometimes they take work, but in the end, the relationships you make in college are honestly sometimes more important and influential than your classes.
4. You will be sick all of the time and need to prioritize your health
Both your mental and physical health are tested in college. Your environment is different and your body has to adjust to it. Being constantly surrounded by people (and their germs), along with not getting enough sleep, eating differently, and drinking more, your body is bound to respond with sickness. I was sick more times than I wasn't sick during this first year and every time I went home I went to the doctor. I learned that I really had to focus on taking care of myself — eating right, getting enough sleep, taking vitamins, drinking water, washing my hands, etc.
5. Even if it looks like everyone is so put together, they probably aren't
One of the hardest things for me at the beginning of college was adjusting. It's not that I was really homesick all the time, because I was really happy at school and often didn't want to leave for breaks. But I constantly felt lonely. Balancing school and ever-changing friendships took a toll on me and really stressed me out. Managing my time going out, doing work, and trying to make meaningful friendships was definitely the most difficult part of my freshman year. It's a lot of change in a short amount of time, but I learned that I wasn't the only one feeling this way. In fact, almost everyone I've spoken too had the same struggles as I had. Even though everyone looks like they have their sh*t together both in person or on social media, trust me, they probably don't.
6. Going home is weird
Don't get me wrong, I love my family and I do look forward to going home and spending time with them. But... being home is weird. Really weird. When you go to college you leave and move on to a whole new life in a whole new place, but everything at home is still exactly same. I'll drive down the roads that I used to drive down every day or go to the same restaurants I went to every weekend, but I am so different. Even my relationship with my family has changed.
I can't pin-point the feeling, but since I am independent at school, going home makes me feel trapped, like a guest in my own house. I have a whole other life hundreds of miles away, so going back to my "secondary life" feels like stepping in a time machine I don't always want to step into.
7. It isn't a big deal to miss a night out
In high school, parties were rare, especially fun ones. Maybe I would have one a weekend, but I can count on my fingers the legitametly fun parties I went to in high school. Thus, I would never want to miss one, because I never knew when the next good party was. However, in college, I have parties every Tuesday, Thursday, Friday, and Saturday. Besides just planned parties, technically I can go out every night if I wanted to. Plus, at pretty much every party I go to I have a great time and make great memories. So if I want to skip a party to go to sleep early or get my homework done, it isn't that big of a deal. Going out is a big part of my life, but it doesn't have to be a constant anxiety like it was in high school.
8. You may change your mind a thousand times about the future
Especially at a school like the University of Michigan, there are so many interesting types of classes you can take. Sometimes you might hate a class you thought you would love and realize you don't want a job in that topic, or sometimes you might love a class you never expected to love and realize you want to change your major. In college you have so many more opportunities to explore your interests and discover new ones. It's ok to change your mind a million times — I know that now.
